


Inevitable

by LionessOnTheThrone (Purrfect)



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Betrayal, Brother/Sister Incest, Child Loss, F/M, Fate, Friendship, Heavy Angst, Incest, Love, Miscarriage, Mystery, Novella, POV Cersei, POV Jaime Lannister, Post Season 6, Post Season 7, Post Season 8, Pregnancy, Prophecy, Prophetic Dreams, R plus L equals J, Regret, Season 8, True Love, Twincest, Twins, Voyeurism, beautiful golden fools, jaime/cersei endgame, maggy the frog - Freeform, season 7
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2018-11-02 09:12:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 39,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10941414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purrfect/pseuds/LionessOnTheThrone
Summary: Jaime finds out not only about Cersei's plans to refuse to send help north, but about her affair with Lancel as well. In a fit of rage, he nearly chokes the life from her before fleeing. Cersei meanwhile is allied with Euron Greyjoy whom she hates but needs for his dragon-horn and soldiers. Eventually, she gets two differing prophecies, one dim and one hopeful that includes Jaime.This story follows canon until the end of season 6 then diverges.Warning: There is some Jaime/OC, Jaime/Brienne and Cersei/Euron in this but Cersei/Jaime is end game. You will have to read to see whether that means valonqar/suicide, happily ever after, or something else entirely.





	1. Finding Out

**Author's Note:**

> The season 7 spoilers seemed OOC to me. So I'm trying to find a way to make the whole Jaime leaves Cersei and rides north thing at least somewhat believable. I tried to make the whole J/B thing that they'll probably shove down our throats in season 8 believable too because that seems OOC to me too. I don't think Jaime would be able to move on especially in such a short time, though I can see him trying and failing to and hopefully this fic is good at capturing that. Don't blame me for this blame the spoilers :XD Also this fic will span a few years period and include Jaime eventually returning to kings landing.

Cersei had just rejected his advances yet again and Jaime was upset. It was the first time in a week he had even gotten her alone, but she pushed him away yet again telling him, "Not now." They hadn't slept together even once since Tommen's death many moons ago. Ever since their son's death, she preferred to spend her days drinking to unconsciousness or plotting revenge over his company. She was also gone long hours at a time visiting the castle dungeons and he could not help but wonder who or what was keeping her so occupied down there. Then when Daenerys and her armies had arrived a fortnight ago he'd seen even less of her.

After the dragon pit meeting only four short days ago Jaime was sure she must be rather upset about the prospect of potentially losing her throne. Daenerys had offered to let Cersei stay on the throne until after the white walkers were defeated, at which point there would be a peaceful transference of power and they would be allowed to live out their days at Casterly Rock if they so chose. The only catch being that Cersei would have to send her armies, as well as the Tarly army that had allied with her, north to fight the white walker threat.

Cersei had however not only declined the offer but laughed in Daenerys face, and accused her of being as mad as her father the mad king, for there were no such things as white walkers and wights. However, she was quickly proven wrong only a few moments later, as Jon Snow arrived, bringing a wight with him. Cersei was visibly terrified and ordered the mountain to kill it, which he could not.

Eventually, the two enemies did manage to come to an agreement. They would band together to fight the white walker threat and then worry about who sat on the throne. Once more dragon glass was gathered to produce weapons that could kill white walkers the armies would all head north to fight them.

He wished she would let him comfort her, about their son's death, about her reign which might be ending once the white walkers were defeated, about anything bothering her. He missed her and her distance hurt him. He was her other half. So why was she shutting him out like this?

So after Cersei's latest rejection, Jaime was more than happy when Bronn arrived at his chambers that evening and suggested they take a trip to the brothel. Not that he would ever betray Cersei, but there was one beautiful young blonde there in particular there that resembled a young Cersei so much that Jaime was sure she must be some distant bastard cousin of his. Jaime did not and would not touch, not ever, but he did enjoy watching. He had taken to paying coin to watch this young blonde with men, all of whom he specified to the madam must be handsome and blonde. It was like watching himself with a younger Cersei.

However, more than that Jaime finally had some good news to share. The prior day the servants Jaime assigned to the task had finally found a pretty young maiden with a castle all of her own, for her father had died and she had no brothers. Jaime was sure Bronn would find her be more than a suitable match.

He would also like Bronn's opinion on what he should do about things. For Cersei was not acting herself ever since their youngest son had committed suicide. She had been colder and she never truly smiled anymore. Bronn was the only one Jaime could talk to about these things, for Brienne was halfway around the world right now as far as Jaime knew. Besides that Jaime sensed she wouldn't be happy to give him advice on how to win Cersei's affections back anyway.

So that evening when Bronn asked Jaime to accompany him, Jaime figured it'd be as good a time as any to tell him the good news as well as get his advice on Cersei. In the morning they'd regroup and head home. If Cersei had ever noticed his absences or heard tell of his brothel visits, she never mentioned it.

This time, however, it was different. Bronn had talked him into going to a further away brothel.

"I've had all the ones at the local brothel, haven't you? I say it's time we try something new. The brothel three hours away has five times the selection, too"

Jaime had reluctantly agreed. He couldn't very well tell Bronn that he never touched any of the women and his only brothel like activity was voyeurism of one particular Cersei like blonde and her handsome blonde customers.

Perhaps if he got himself drunk enough any blonde would do. Besides, he mostly wanted someone to talk to. Maybe Bronn could help him figure out what to say or do to get Cersei back to her normal self. They'd never talked about Cersei, or anything too deep really, but Jaime figured it couldn't hurt to bring it up. Not to mention how nice it was to finally have some good news to share.

So they had ridden to that brothel, ordered a couple beers and sat down.

Jaime had just finished telling Bronn the good news when he heard an all too farmilar voice, "Brother"

Jaime quickly sprung up and began to unstealth his sword. Tyrion had killed his father and he had vowed to kill him if he ever saw him again. Although Jaime had seen him at the dragon pit a few days ago, there had been too many enemies about for him to make his move. Here in this brothel, however, there was no one to stop him. Fortunately, Bronn jumped in between the two brothers before anything could happen.

"He just wants to talk and negotiate with you. He has some information he feels may sway your mind"

Jaime glared at Bronn before continuing, "I talked to him at the dragon pit. There is nothing more to say and nothing that will change my mind. We will send our help to defeat the white walkers as promised, but we will not surrender."

"Ah, my poor, naive, foolish brother. You really believe Cersei intends to send her troops to help with the white walker threat?? Jon and Daenerys believe her lies too, but at least they do not know her. I knew she would never let her armies help us. I tried to tell everyone, but Daenerys said without proof nothing can be done. So I had our dear sweet sister followed. Several spies can attest that she intends to send no help. In fact, she hopes the undead army depletes our forces. "

"Why would I believe anything that comes out of the mouth of you who killed my father? Cersei would not do that."

"He was my father too, and you and I both know he was more than willing to let me die."

"I masterminded your escape, risking the wrath of the women I love. And you betrayed me by killing my father, and you expect me to trust anything you say now?"

"I did not plan to kill him. That night I went to confront him, rage at him for how he always treated me. I was angry, I feel rightfully so. I had the crossbow for self-defense in case he tried anything. You know what I found brother? Shae, in his bed. My Shae. The only women other then Tysha that I ever loved. I lost it. Strangled her to death right in that bed. Then I went and I found him in the privy and of course, you know what happened next."

Jaime wanted to accuse him of lying, but from the look on Tyrion's face, he could tell he was telling the truth. Even so, he did not find it an acceptable excuse.

"It is no excuse. If I'd known there was any chance of you ever doing that you know I would have never plotted your escape."

"So you would rather have let me die then?"

"You would not have died. I had made a deal with father. You know that. You would have been sent to the wall. "

"You and I both discussed that many years ago. As I told you then, I will tell you now, that is no life. Not for me. Worse than death."

"Apparently not worse than helping our enemies to take the throne our sister sits on. Tell me, when you were good and free, why didn't you just stay free? Why join with our enemies and plot to take the throne your very nephew sat on? You never hated Tommen, not as you did Joffrey, so why?"

"Ah yes, a lovely life in exile drinking to my heart's content and fucking random whores every night. As wonderful as that sounds, and I do mean that sincerely dear brother, I needed a bit more out of life. To help the dragon queen gives me a sense of purpose. And it now even has the added bonus of taking from our dear sweet sister what she holds most dear, her precious power. As for Tommen, you and I both know the boy had no real power and was being controlled by our dear sweet sister. "

"Back to the topic at hand though." continued Tyrion. "Our dear sister does plan to betray our agreed upon plan. My spies will inform Daenerys of Cersei's betrayal, very shortly. It is only because of our kinship that I worked to convince them to give me some time. "

"Cersei would not lie. Not to me. She said it right in front of me and everyone else that we would send help to fight the white walkers then she will. If she were lying, she would not have kept it from me. Not for this long."

"Cersei has lied to you a thousand times. Did she ever tell you she was fucking Lancel while you were in captivity?"

"Why would I believe that?"

"Believe it or don't, it is the truth. "

Jaime raised his fist, ready to strike his little brother for the first time ever.

"I'm sorry Jaime. But he tells the truth," butted in Bronn, stepping in between the brothers once again.

"How would you know?"

I was there with him all those years ago, I was just outside the tent where he interrogated Lancel about the hidden wildfire caches. I heard everything. Tyrion threatened to tell you about him and Cersei and the poor boy was terrified. He quickly gave up the info that was sought."

Jaime didn't know who to trust or who to believe. He'd thought Bronn was his friend, but Bronn had known Tyrion first. Perhaps he was plotting with Tyrion to turn him against Cersei.

"You're lying. You're both lying," he stated unsurely.

"She ever tell you why she had to do her walk of shame?" Bronn asked.

"The incest of course."

"You never thought it odd that you weren't charged as well? Or that people weren't calling even more for the removal of Tommen from the throne?"

Jaime had never given it much thought before. At the time of the accusations, he had been far away. And then Myrcella had died in his arms and the accusations against Cersei had paled in comparison. If she were accused of incest with not him, but Lancel, it would certainly explain why he wasn't charged, as well as why there wasn't more of an uproar to remove Tommen from power.

Tyrion spoke next, looking almost regretful, "I'm sorry, but it is the truth. You need to decide how to proceed going forward from here. I know you may need some time, but I can only give you a week at best, and even that is pushing it. I know Cersei will not surrender, not ever. I believe, however, that the Lannister army, as well as the Tarly army, will follow your command over hers. Then it's only Euron's army's and fleets who will not be helping with the White Walker threat. "

"So you would ask me to betray my own house?"

"You know as well as I do that many more lives will be lost if we do not have everyone we can to fight this threat. Just think about it. A week from today, meet back here with me and tell me of your decision. "

"My decision will be the same then as it is now. Unlike you, I will not betray my house"

"Then I shall hope you change your mind. I will be here one week from now awaiting your decision. Stay safe brother," and with those words, Tyrion walked away.


	2. Confronting Cersei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime confronts Cersei

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated the story summary, since nobody seemed to be reading the notes. So it should be clear that this has an eventual jaime/cersei endgame tho I'm not saying they are gonna end up living all happily ever after.

After Tyrion's departure, Jaime was beside himself. Bronn had made himself scarce, quickly scampering off to whatever whore had caught his fancy that night. Doubts began to swirl in Jaime's mind. He spent the rest of the night in a deep depression, drinking until he finally passed out drunk for the first time in his life.

He awoke to the feeling of coldness and water sliding down his head.

"What the hell?" He exclaimed. Standing over him was Bronn, with an empty pitcher.

"Knew that would get you up. We need to get back. Though you're in no condition to be riding. While you were passed out, I took the liberty of taking some of your coin to hire us a wagon. "

Jaime looked into his pocket, sure enough, some of his coin was missing. Probably more than what was needed for a wagon, but his head was starting to throb so he didn't feel like pressing it. It was Jaime's first time spending the night at a brothel, not that anything had happened, and he wondered if for once Cersei would finally notice his absence. Shaking those thoughts from his mind, Jaime slowly got up and followed Bronn to where their wagon and horses awaited. 

After Bronn unwisely broached the subject of whether or not he would still be getting his promised castle and bride, Jaime had snapped at him to shut up and the rest of the ride home had been spent in silence. He tried to think about what he would say to Cersei, but his head was pounding. He guessed he must have a hangover, the first of his life. From seeing Cersei and Tyrion have so many he knew he'd need a nap before he could properly gather his thoughts.

Finally, they made it to the red keep.

"So will you be meeting Tyrion again in a weeks time?" asked Bronn, before they parted ways.

"He's a traitor. I have nothing more to say to him."

"What he said was true though. You know that right?"

Jaime ignored that remark and began to head immediately to his chambers. Once there, he fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.

Several hours passed and a groggy Jaime awoke to the sound of knocking. Exasperated he yelled for the person to come in. 'This had better be important' he thought, annoyed.

In walked a young servant girl no more than twelve. 'likely one of the many orphans Cersei took in after the sept explosion' thought Jaime. He refrained from yelling angerly at her.

"Excuse me Sir Jaime, but the queen sent me to fetch you."

Happiness welled up in him before he remembered the things he had heard last night.

"If the queen wants me, you tell her she can come to me herself."

The girl stayed, fidgeting awkwardly. "The Queen will not be happy if I return to her without you." She said at last, looking scared and on the verge of tears.

Jaime nearly rolled his eyes before remembering that Cersei had never been kind to the servants. While she'd never before had a servant whipped for returning without someone who refused to go, he didn't know what she was capable of anymore. So reluctantly he agreed. 'She probably finally noticed my absence and wants to give me grief.' He thought to himself. He wasn't sure he felt up to confronting her about Lancel and the white walkers yet, but times alone with her were so scarce these days that he reasoned he'd have no choice.

. "Fine, I'll go."

"Thank you, follow me, Sir"

"I know where my sister's chambers are if you would like to go off and do other things."

"The queen is not in her chambers. Follow me, I will take you to her."

Jaime followed the girl. She led him to the castle dungeons. 'Finally, I will get to see what she's been keeping down here.' thought Jaime curiously. Although he hadn't been banned from going down to the castle dungeons, he had always avoided doing so. Whether the people down here deserved it or not, he didn't quite like to see or hear what went on. He was however quite curious as to why Cersei had been spending so much time down here lately, however a part of him didn't really want to know.

They passed by several rooms and Jaime heard many screams of what sounded like torture. Finally, they stopped at one room where the screaming was much louder than the others.

The girl knocked. Qyburn opened the door.

Jaime followed the girl in and couldn't help but gasp in horror at what he saw.

Cersei was sipping her wine as she observed several chained up women, many of whom looked to have undergone horrific torture. Most were missing at least an eye, some had much more horrific injuries. From the smirk on her face, Jaime could tell that Cersei was quite satisfied with what she was observing.

Upon hearing Jaime's gasp Cersei turned to look at them.

The girl broke the silence first, eager to get out of there.

"My Queen" she said curtsying.

"Thank you, Rina. You are dismissed for the rest of the evening."

"Thank you, your grace." the girl replied before scampering out.

"Jaime, we should go to my chambers, I have some news to share. " Cersei said, looking at him.

"Why did I come all the way down here, to the castle dungeons? Cersei, you surely could have summoned me to your chambers and had me wait there!"

"Ah yes, I could've, but then you wouldn't have gotten to see our enemies suffering," Cersei replied nodding towards the various women chained up on tables.

"Our enemies?" Jaime asked. confused.

"Ah yes, after all the modifications that Sir Gregor has made to them, you probably couldn't recognize them. Ellaria Sand and her daughter Tyene, as well as several more of the sand snakes responsible for Myrcella's death." Cersei replied, nodding over at the women chained on tables.

Jaime smiled at the news, before wondering to himself when and how she had captured Ellaria and the rest of the sand snakes and why she hadn't bothered to inform him of it.

As if she could read his thoughts Cersei replied: "They were captured two days ago, a gift from Euron Greyjoy, but I have other, bigger and better news to share."

She smiled at him then, a sweet smile, the first Jaime had seen from her since before Tommen's death, maybe even longer.

Jaime almost smiled back, glad to see her happy again, before he remembered. Lancel. And the white walkers. And Euron. Jaime didn't like it one bit that Euron had shown up nearly two months ago wanting to marry Cersei. Although she had refused him telling him they would instead work together as allies against Daenerys and Yara and Theon Greyjoy. Cersei had also promised Euron that she would grant the iron islands independence from the crown, However, Jaime worried she would accept Euron's proposal if he expressed any inclining her offer wasn't enough. While Jaime knew Cersei would never want to share her power with any man, he also feared she may very well marry Euron and arrange for an accident. He and Cersei had certainly discussed and debated causing Robert to have an 'accident' many times in years past.

They began to walk silently to her chambers.

"Your Grace," said the two guards outside her chambers before curtsying and stepping aside.

Right away Cersei headed to pour herself some wine.

"Would you like some?" she asked.

More wine would surely help him get through this conversation, but remembering his still somewhat lingering headache from last night's escapade he declined.

"I never did understand why you never took a shine to wine or any sort of liqueur. Even that disgusting imp enjoyed his wine." she wondered out loud before taking a seat on the red sofa.

'If only she knew' thought Jaime as he sat down next to her, keeping some space between them. He had to confront her soon, and the last thing he wanted right now was to get lost in her.

Cersei took a few sips of wine and Jaime noted that she had began to look quite nervous.

Finally, she turned to look at him and began to speak.

"Jaime, I'm pregnant."

"You're, pregnant? Are you sure? How?" replied Jaime, flabbergasted. They hadn't lain together in over three months, nearly four. Not since before he left for river run. Before Tommen's suicide. 

Cersei's bright smile quickly changed into a frown. This clearly wasn't the reaction she had been hoping for.

"Yes, I'm sure, Qyburn examined me earlier. As to how I think you know how dear brother."

"We haven't lain together in nearly four months, so whose child is this?"

"Yours! How dare you!" she exclaimed, rising up in anger.

"And you found out when?"

"Earlier today."

"So you expect me to believe you are nearly four months pregnant and had no clue until today?"

"Yes....I thought I was going through the change. You know what I mean, the change all women go through."

"Women don't go through the change until their fifties and you are only forty-Four, you really expect me to believe that?"

"Yes, it's the truth."

"And I'm supposed to believe that I am the father? Jaime replied getting up to face her.

She slapped him before replying "I have been with no other."

"Lancel." stated Jaime.

Cersei dropped her glass in shock, looking both worried and frightened. 

"So it's true then, you fucked him."

"I........it was years ago, you were gone, and I needed him. Needed him to help me kill Robert. It was only a few times."

So it had been more than once. And it hadn't been a mistake but a planned event, to get him to help her get rid of Robert. Something Jaime had been offering his help with for years only to have heard her excuses and refusals for why they still needed Robert alive still.

Jaime felt his anger boil over and he could not resist the urge to hurt her back.

"Well, if you are pregnant, it's not mine, is it Euron Greyjoy's? He's certainly been doing a lot for you lately. Or perhaps it's the court jesters, what's his name again, ah yes, moon boy."

Cersei gasped at him, her face a mixture of hurt and shock.

"Get out. Now."

"Gladly, queen of whores." he replied, turning quickly to leave.

Cersei quickly grabbed another wine glass and threw it at him with great force, Unfortunately for her and fortunately for Jaime, she missed, hitting the wall and getting glass all over the place.

Jaime rushed out of the room and headed to his chambers all the while seething with rage at the thought of Cersei with Lancel and possibly Euron and even moon boy for all he knew.

It wasn't until he was all the way back to his chambers that he realized he had forgotten to confront her about what Tyrion said about her not being willing to help with the white walker threat. He sighed before laying back down. His head was now throbbing as much as it had earlier. Jaime fell into a fitful sleep filled with nightmares of Cersei and Lancel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, I didn't get too OOC with Jaime and Cersei. I could picture Jaime being this pissed about Lancel and not trusting her anymore. And Cersei, of course, is upset after what he said and lashes out. I also didn't wanna make Jaime leave right away because that seems OOC. Any helpful feedback or comments are welcome so long as you're not completely negative.


	3. The Final Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime confronts Cersei about the white walker threat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time writing anything multi-chaptered so hopefully, there aren't any continuity errors.

Over the next few days, Jaime avoided Cersei at every opportunity, not that there were many, for she seemed to be avoiding him as well. He was still seething with rage about Lancel, Euron and moon boy for all he knew.

The fifth day after his confrontation with Cersei rumors reached the red keep that Daenerys dragon, Viserion had gotten out of control and breathed fire on several dozen of Daenerys own men, killing dozens and injuring even more, before flying off. Some said he must be being controlled by the night king. Others said the dragon queen simply couldn't control her dragons anymore.

Jaime had had enough. With a dragon now possibly under the night kings control they all needed to band together to fight this undead invasion. Otherwise, they would all die. Him, Cersei and that child she carried inside her as well. He decided he would make sure once and for all that Cersei really planned to help fight this threat. After the white walkers were taken care of he decided they would surrender and retire to casterly rock. Cersei would not win any war against a dragon queen who not only had three, well now two dragons and whose soldiers outnumbered theirs five to one. She would die trying to keep her throne and he wouldn't let that happen.

With those thoughts, he approached her chambers. Upon failing to find her there, he headed to the dungeons. Jaime knew she would more than likely be down there, observing torture of the sand snakes, the septa, or any other enemies she may have locked down there.

Outside of one of the doors Jaime heard a man's laughter and the sound of Cersei's voice. Jaime wasn't able to make out what was being said. Not that it mattered. Cersei was with a man, likely Euron he feared, behind a closed door, likely alone, and that could only mean one thing. Enraged, Jaime opened the door and stepped in. What he saw, however, was not what he expected to see.

Cersei was on a large couch, as was Euron, but naked they were not. Instead, in Euron's mouth was a large horn, at least three feet long. Jaime recognized it as a dragon horn, he had heard rumors of the iron islands having owned such an item, and he'd read and seen drawings in some books.

In spite of the laughter he had heard Euron seemed in a trance like state and Cersei seemed completely mesmerized watching him. Neither even turned towards him when he opened the door. They both seemed to be enjoying themselves rather well. Jaime got a sinking feeling. He knew now it wasn't the night king, but rather Euron and his horn that had taken control over the dragon.

With some difficulty, as he only had one hand, Jaime yanked the horn out of Eurons mouth.

"Jaime! You idiot! Do you know what you just interrupted???! Give that back now!" exclaimed Cersei.

"You idiotic cripple. You know my soldiers could have you locked in the dungeons for what you just did. And I think I will." said Euron, dazed and annoyed.

At that Cersei turned on Euron. "You will not be locking my brother up anywhere, this is my castle. You are only here to serve ME. You will never speak to my brother that way again."

"Dear sister, can we talk in private, now?" interrupted Jaime.

"Later. Return the horn to us now and there will be no punishment, If we have to take it back by force, I don't think you'll like it very much dear brother" replied Cersei scornfully.

"I will return it once you and I have a word in private. Or would you like me to talk about everything, and I do mean everything sweet sister, in front of Euron here?" Jaime replied.

Cersei looked flustered. "Fine. Euron, leave us." Cersei commanded.

Euron rose to leave, heading to the door.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" asked Cersei as Euron grabbed the door handle.

From his position, Jaime could see Euron give an eye roll. Luckily for Euron, Cersei could not see it.

"My queen," said Euron, turning around to bow before he took his leave. On Euron's way out Jaime noticed him making an obscene gesture and was tempted to call him out on it, but the matter at hand took precedence.

"How and when did we acquire a dragon horn! When were you going to tell me we had a dragon under our control?" Jaime asked, setting the horn down on the floor behind him. It was far too heavy to hold any longer, especially with only one hand.

"You had no need to know. As to how I'm sure you've heard the rumors. Euron did, in fact, possess one. Even better, Qyburn has been examining the horn, to see if it's possible to make duplicates. Soon we may very well control all three dragons. "

"Why do we need to control the dragons?"

"To win the war of course." Cersei replied, rolling her eyes.

"A war we agreed not to fight until after the White Walker threat was taken care of, remember?"

At this Cersei laughed.

"I''m no fool dear brother. The white walkers will deplete our enemies. With that and one and soon two, and then hopefully all three dragons under control, we will ensure our victory."

"So everything you said in the dragon pit was a lie?"

"Yes," Cersei said, looking unashamed.

"Thousands will die!" Jaime exclaimed angerly.

"Just as with the Sept, I had no choice. If we sent our armies what do you think would happen to us after the white walkers are dealt with? Don't be so stupid, Jaime."

"Let the dragons help in the battle against the white walkers at least, then take control over them. If the dragons help against the white walker threat there will be fewer casualties. "

"I want there to be casualties. The more the better. Even the combined forces of our armies, the Tarly army, Euron's vast army and fleets and a dragon may not be enough to defeat them, as they still outnumber us five to one. Even if Qyburn succeeds on making duplicates of the horn we are still safest the more casualties there are."

"And what of Euron? How do you plan to keep him and his men and ships on your side? He's not going to be content to idle by helping you keep your throne. He will want your power. At best to share, but more likely he will not be content with only that. Furthermore, If you think I'm going to stand by again and watch while you are wife to someone else, you are even madder than I thought."

"And what will you do, dear brother? Euron has been quite useful. After all, it was he, not you who captured Myrcella's killers for me. I will not discard him. Not yet, anyway."

"I will leave, for where I don't know" He lied. He knew he would go north. He wisely neglected to mention that he would take her armies with him. If she knew that he didn't know what she would do.

"Furthermore, He may have captured Myrcella's killers, but it was I who killed Olenna Tyrell for you during that raid on high garden two months ago" Jaime continued.

"You let her drink poison. She killed our son and you gave her a merciful death!" Cersei exclaimed angerly.

"She had the poison vial in her hands already, I was stunned after her confession. I am sorry I didn't move fast enough. " Jaime defended. In truth, his hesitation was deliberate. Joffrey had been a bad seed and Jaime felt sympathy for the women. No one could blame her for doing what she had to in order to prevent Margaery from having to live with Joffrey's cruelty. He would have done the same for Myrcella.

"Yes, well your hesitation cost me my vengeance. I had so many things planned for Joffrey's killer. I'd always thought it was the imp though, I still can't believe he had nothing to do with it. However, he still killed father and for that, he will pay."

"Yes, he will," replied Jaime. However this time his heart wasn't really into it. He could understand, even sympathize with Tyrion and what he did.

"You wouldn't really abandon me, would you?" asked Cersei suddenly, looking worried and sad.

"Perhaps I should, how do I even know that child is mine? I can't trust you. Not since finding out about Lancel."

Cersei looked hurt and insulted.

"It is yours, I wasn't with anyone else. Not since Lancel. I have not slept with Euron either, in spite of what you may think."

She approached him then, trying to embrace him. Jaime backed away, he had to know one thing first.

"Were there others, other then Lancel?"

"How could you ask me that? Of course not."

Jaime could tell it was the truth. It still hurt like hell, but he was glad there had been no others. However, he still had yet one more question to ask before he would allow himself to fall back into her arms.

"You won't marry him, will you?" Jaime asked. As much as he hated himself for it, he knew he would stay, so long as she'd be true to him. He did not want her married to another man. Not again.

"If I have to marry, to keep his armies and fleets then I will."

Jaime felt his blood boil. She really would do anything to rise and stay in power. Let thousands die, fuck Lancel, marry Euron. He'd had enough. He'd made up his mind. He would take control of the Lannister army, and the Bartheraon and Tarly armies too if possible. Daenerys need never know he was going against Cersei either. Jaime had controlled the armies many times before, he would simply tell them all the Queen had given him the command. Tyrion and his spies may be a problem, but he reckoned he could convince Tyrion to keep quiet if he could get the armies to go north.

He was so enraged that against his better judgment he told her that he would be leaving her and taking her armies.

"I will leave you then, I will go north and I will take your armies with me. They have always followed my command and gossip is already rampant that you are even madder than the Targaryen girl."

"I will have you murdered for treason for even thinking of doing such a thing. " Cersei replied angerly, her face a mixture of hurt, shock, and betrayal.

"You will not. When I return from the north you will surrender and retire to casterly rock with me."

"I will do no such thing."

"You will for the sake of your unborn child. You cannot survive otherwise, even if you were to somehow control all three dragons. Not with an army of gods knows how many white walkers and wights, as well as all the troops and allies Daenerys has. Troops that need I remind you outnumber ours five to one."

"We will slaughter the white walkers with dragon fire if and when they arrive here."

'If it were that easy, they would have done so by now.' Jaime thought to himself. Out loud he said: "Or you could just wait to control the dragons until after the white walkers are defeated."

"Yes, well, it's a bit too late for that brother," Cersei said, stifling a laugh.

"What do you mean? Just command Euron to stop controlling Viserion"

"Even if I wanted to do that, Viserion would never be a normal dragon again. The horn binds both the dragon and user to it. When Euron isn't controlling it, it sleeps. No one else can control it either. I didn't believe Euron at first. Thought he must be lying, to keep it all for himself. But, I tried, as did Qyburn and some of his more trusted little birds. It will only work when Euron uses it. Quite a bit of a problem really, our biggest weapon could be killed while Euron sleeps, which is why we need Qyburn to hurry up on making duplicates. Somebody should be controlling one of the dragons at all times."

"Fine then, let Euron control Viserion all he wants, however, if Qyburn succeeds don't take control of either of the other two. At least not until after the white walkers are defeated."

"Let me think about that," replied Cersei, stepping back some to pour herself some wine. She casually took a long sip before replying.

"No, Nope, Never, Nada. Not in a million years. " she finally replied.

"Why not?"

"It's too risky. As I said before, we need there to be casualties."

"I will not let thousands die just so you can keep a throne that has caused us both nothing but pain!"

"It's not the throne but the people who try to take it all from us" replied Cersei angerly.

"Be that as it may, this isn't worth it any longer."

"To me it is. This is all I have left."

"You have your unborn child, and you have me."

"I do not think this child will make it to term. The witch told me I would only have three children. Gold their crowns, gold their shrouds, she told me."

Jaime groaned inwardly. He hated when she talked about prophecy as if everything was predestined. They made their own destiny. There were no gods. No fate.

"That was merely a coincidence. Witches aren't real. No one can know the future. Besides that, you still have me. You'll always have me."

"Always have you, yet you talk of leaving me." she said, accusation in her eyes.

"I would come back after the threat was defeated. Or I will stay just as long as you do not marry. I refuse to watch again while you are wife to another disgusting pig."

"I have to marry and I will marry. The child will need an official father and I need Euron's support. He controls Viserion and several ships and troops. We need him. I was going to wait a while to tell you, in hopes we'd be on better terms, but it seems now that may never be. I am to marry Euron in a weeks time."

"You will not. I forbid it." Jaime replied, his temper rising.

"I will. I have to."

"You don't. Leave with me, we'll take some gold and go to the free cities."

"I would rather die than give up this throne. "

Upon hearing this, Jaime lost what little he had left of his self-control. All he could think of was how he'd never be as important to her as the iron throne. It hurt him that she'd rather die than live out her days in some cabin with him. Why wasn't his love enough? Before he knew what he was doing his hands were around her neck, choking her. She gasped for air as he choked her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger....sorry lol....sorry if any of you got multiple notifications....it kept posting way down on the page for some reason so I deleted and reposted this chapter.


	4. Fleeing King's Landing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime leaves Kings landing and travels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not as long a chapter as I'd hoped, but wanted to get this out to you guys asap, seeing as I left it at a cliffhanger. Thank you very much for each and every review! You guys motivate me to continue. I think this is my fastest time getting a chapter out, too.

With his gold hand pressed tightly against her throat and his other hand squeezing her neck, Jaime continued to choke Cersei. She was fighting back now, trying to claw at his face, his eyes, anything to get him to let go. He narrowly avoided all of her attacks. It wasn't until he felt her body become lifeless that he snapped out of his blind rage.

"Cersei?" "Cersei?!" No response.

He quickly but gently set her down on the couch which she had been standing in front of and checked for a pulse. Thankfully there was one there. He felt her chest to make double sure she was still alive. He could see and feel that she was breathing and was just unconscious. He breathed a huge sigh of relief. He couldn't believe he'd lost his temper like that. That he'd almost killed the women he loved.

Then his thoughts quickly turned from panic for Cersei's welfare to panic for his own. He knew now he had to leave kings landing, had to get out of here immediately. For when Cersei awoke he did not know what she would do. He had tried to kill her. True it was in a fit of rage and he had stopped the moment she lost consciousness, but would that really matter to her? At worst she would have him executed, and at best put in the castle dungeons.

How long did he have he wondered? Before she awoke and called for help? He'd figured not long. But he couldn't resist giving her one final, quick kiss. He knew it would be the last one for a very long time, possibly forever. 'She will probably never let me near her again after what I did.' he thought sadly.

He looked at Cersei and all over the room. Tried to remember every detail of her face. Tried to remember every detail of the room that might sadly be the last place he'd ever see her in. This room looked so very familiar to him. Then it occurred to him, this was the room he and Cersei had snuck off to many times before. It had a long and narrow secret passageway with stairs leading up to her chambers. Unlike her chambers, it was a place no servants ever came knocking and a place Robert hadn't even known had a secret passageway. Cersei had discovered it herself by accident one evening a few years into her marriage. Cersei would go from her chambers to this room and Jaime would take the normal route, with no one ever being any the wiser. Although they hadn't used it since he had come back from his imprisonment all those years ago, this room would always be dear to him. Rage boiled up inside him once again. How dare she take Euron to their special room.

He decided to take the secret passageway to her room, for she would expect him to take one of the more quicker secret passageways elsewhere, not one leading into her chambers. More so it was that a large part of him felt the need to see Cersei's chambers one last time. To memorize every detail of the room they had made love in so many times before.

After around twenty minutes he arrived in Cersei's chambers. He looked all around, trying to memorize everything. He might never see this room again. Then he spotted it, Cersei's jewelry box. With the mental state he was in he likely would have fled kings landing without even thinking to take any coin. But it now dawned on him that he would need the coin to survive. As he knew he couldn't risk going back to his chambers to gather more coin, he quickly headed to Cersei's jewelry box and grabbed some jewels. They were all, expensive, but nonsentimental ones, mostly given by Robert for show at various parties or events. As he was grabbing them, he spotted something on the bottom, tucked away. The seashell he had given her many years ago as children at Casterly Rock, along with jewelry he had given her in secret. He almost smiled before remembering the horrible situation he was in and quickly looked for something to carry the jewels in. The only thing he spotted was, unfortunately, Cersei's favorite purse. Well, far as he knew she had no sentimental attachment to it. He grabbed it and shoved the jewels in.

'Shit I've taken too long, everyone will be on high alert by now looking for me.' thought Jaime, realizing he hadn't been rushing nearly as much as he should have been. It was strange though, for everything seemed normal. Perhaps Cersei was still unconscious? That must be the case, otherwise, there would be guards swarming every which room in the castle in search of him.

He knew that he had to leave now, for surely she would not stay unconscious much longer. If he would have known anything about choking injuries, he would have known that it wasn't normal to be unconscious for more than a moment or two after. But he didn't know, and hence he began his journey out of the castle, thinking she would awaken any moment now.

He headed to another one of the many secret passageways that he and Cersei had always used to use to sneak around in back before they found the one leading to their special room. 'Hers and Euron's special room now' Jaime thought bitterly. He took the route that exited out into the pantry connected to the kitchens. Nobody was there, as dinner had already been served and the cooks were all relaxing in the servants quarters until morning. From there it was just a short walk down the hall into the castle gardens. To his surprise, he was able to make the long trip out of the castle without being detected and it still didn't seem as if anyone was looking for him. He quickly made his way from the castle gardens to the castle stables.

He expected, and a part of him even hoped, to be apprehended on his way to the castle stables, but it did not happen. As he arrived at the castle stables he wondered why no one was looking for him. He'd confronted Cersei just after having finished his dinner. He'd overheard the rumors about Viserion as the loud servant girls had left his chambers after bringing his meal. The servants always prepared and brought dinner to him in his chambers roughly two hours before sunset. As the sun was starting to set now, he realized at least an hour or more must have passed since he'd first confronted Cersei. In truth he wasn't entirely sure of the time, it felt like a lifetime had passed since what he'd done and it also felt as if he'd just held her in his arms a moment ago. It all felt very surreal to him. By now though, Cersei surely had to have woken and informed people as to what he'd done. It didn't make sense to him why no one seemed to be looking for him or on alert at all. He wondered if he should go back and check on her. 'If she were dead, I'd feel it. Plus I saw her breathing and felt her pulse, she is fine.' He reassured himself.

He took a few short moments to gather his thoughts and catch his breath. He'd been running on pure adrenaline for the past hour and he hadn't thought of what or where he should flee to. He knew Cersei, she would send her soldiers out to look for him on the road. He considered staying right here in Kings landing. She would never expect him to stay here in kings landing, for any length of time. However, he could be recognized by any of the locals and brought in anyway, so that he reasoned was too risky as well. After some thought, he recalled there was a shady inn next door to the brothel three hours southwest. The same brothel Bronn had made that meeting with Tyrion happen nearly a week ago. Cersei would be looking for him north, not southwest, so he reasoned that this inn would be a safe bet to hide out in for the next few weeks before he headed north.

Jaime quickly saddled up a horse. Then he secured Cersei's purse in the saddlebag and began to ride. He made his way out of the castle grounds and began to ride west on King's Road. He rode for about ten minutes before he decided it would be safer to get off the main road. Taking side roads and some rough terrain, the journey to the town took him nearly nine hours instead of the normal three. It was nearly morning and the sun had just started to come up when he arrived at the inn completely exhausted. He got off his horse and secured her in the inn's stables before venturing in and renting a room.

"It's four silver stags a night, sir. Will your wife be joining you?"

'Wife, why would he think that?' wondered Jaime. Then he remembered the purse he was carrying all the jewels in.

The innkeeper was starting to look at him suspiciously now, he'd best come up with something quick.

"Yes, she's just shopping at the nearby stores. You know women, can't keep their hands away from pretty clothes. Knowing her she'll be there all day." He lied

"Without her purse, eh?"

'Well, shit. Best think quick again. ' thought Jaime.

"Yes, I told her I wouldn't have her spending quite so much this time. So I took this and let her have a tenth of what was in it."

"Good thinking, gotta keep your women controlled. You know, there's a brothel next door. You could have some fun while the misses is out."

"Perhaps later, I'd like to retire to my room now, please Sir." Jaime replied, secretly disgusted by the innkeeper's attitude.

"Of course. Room four. It's the first room on the left. " He replied, handing Jaime a key. Jaime handed him the four silver stags for the room. It was nearly all the coin he had left. He'd have to take some of the jewels to a pawnbroker later for more. They were all worth far too much for a night here and paying with them might arouse suspicion.

Jaime headed to the room and entered. It was small, but at least clean. He was so exhausted he doubted he'd have cared if it had been dirty, Ignoring his hunger pains, he laid down on the bed and fell asleep immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I established that Cersei is still alive at least. The next chapter is already 70% done and so shouldn't take too long. Your comments help motivate me. Please review or at least kudo if you're enjoying this story. :) I also don't understand why when I post this it posts it down on the page, even though all the stories showing before it on the page were uploaded/updated before I posted my chapter :(


	5. Before Leaving For The North

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime meets with Bronn and Tyrion again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: You are prolly gonna hate the ending of this chapter.

When Jaime finally awoke his stomach growled loudly and he remembered that he hadn't eaten in a very long time. Not since the dinner he'd had right before his final confrontation with Cersei. He was famished. However, he did not have enough coin left for much of a meal. Ignoring his increasingly sharp hunger pains he looked through Cersei's purse and picked out the least expensive looking jewels. Selling these would get him enough coin to pay for many more nights here as well as whatever else he might need in the foreseeable future.

After finding a pawnbroker and selling the jewels he headed to a place to supper. As he ate his chicken and baked potatoes he finally had time to think of all that had transpired yesterday and all of what it meant.

He thought on his planned meeting with Tyrion. It was to be tonight. He pondered going. 'Going and what, I have no way to command the troops to head north now, no way to prove his spies wrong.' He wondered and worried what the dragon queen might do upon finding this out. Was she mad like her father? Would this betrayal anger her enough to launch an attack against the red keep? What if she found out it wasn't the night king, but rather Cersei's ally Euron that had taken control of Viserion? At the dragon pit meeting, he had seen the way she looked at those dragons. They were her children, every bit as much as Joffrey, Myrcella, and Tommen had been Cersei's. He knew she would launch an attack if she knew. No, she must never find out, he would protect Cersei that much at least.

The more he thought, the more depressed he got. He wanted to just forget the world. Forget all the people that would die because of his actions tonight. Forget that Cersei probably hated him now. Forget that he'd probably never hold her in his arms again. Forgetting wasn't an option though, not if he wanted to save Cersei. No, if he wanted to save Cersei, he'd have to think of something and fast. But, there was nothing and try as he might Jaime could not think of anything. Tyrion's spies knew the truth and with Jaime no longer being able to command the troops to head north, there was no way to disprove the spies. They would report to Daenerys and then there was nothing he could do. He would at least keep his mouth shut and deny any and all knowledge of what had happened to Viserion, he hoped to the gods that Tyrion's spies had not recovered the truth about that, too.

Finally having finished his meal, Jaime was still hungry and so he ordered seconds. As he was waiting for his food to come he heard Bronn's voice a few stools away, ordering his own food. 

'Shit' he thought, wondering if he could sneak out without being undetected, unfortunately, while he was debating this, Bronn had spotted and approached him.

"Fancy finding you here of all places," Bronn said, shaking Jaime out of his thoughts.

"I heard what happened." Bronn continued, undeterred by Jaime's silence.

"What did you hear exactly?" Jaime asked unable to contain his curiosity.

"I heard that you threatened to take control over the armies. Threatened to leave king's landing with them."

So that was all Bronn had heard? Cersei hadn't mentioned that he'd tried to kill her? He was shocked. Bronn continued on. 

"Your sister sounded the alarm this morning. There's a pretty price on that golden head of yours for whoever brings you to her, alive and unharmed she specified."

'This morning, why had it taken her so long?' Jaime wondered worriedly getting lost in his thoughts. He'd strangled her and made his escape around sunset yesterday. Had the strangulation seriously injured her, or had she had a more urgent problem to take care of? 

Bronn spoke again. "Your meeting with Tyrion is to happen tonight, remember? "

"Hello? Jaime fucking Lannister." Bronn's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. 

"What?" asked Jaime.

"I asked, are you going to meet with Tyrion tonight as planned?"

"I don't really have anything to discuss with him."

At that, they paused as their food had come. They both ate awkwardly in silence for a few moments before Bronn spoke again.

"You left in quite in the spur of the moment, in a rage right? Before you could command the armies to follow you north. " 

"I suppose you could say that." Jaime replied shamefully.

"Well, the dragon queen doesn't seem to want war. Not against the crown. Not before the white walkers are defeated anyway. Perhaps it will work out. You should meet with Tyrion though, not like you have anything left to lose now, anyway. Or anything better to do"

"Gee, thanks." replied Jaime dryly.

"Wise of you to hide out here. Your sister would never think to look this way. I heard tell that she has soldiers and scouts out on every road north of kings landing. You'd be wise to hide out here for a matter of weeks at the very least."

"I likely will. Was she well, my sister?"

"Seemed in a bad way when she addressed the smallfolk in the throne room this morning, regarding your betrayal as she referred to it. I suppose that's to be expected though, given you leaving her and all."

'Well, thank the gods she's well, physically anyway and that she doesn't want me dead after what I did' thought Jaime. 

" Tyrion should be arriving at the brothel across the road shortly. I got a surprise for you there too if you wanna come with me."

"Come and say what, exactly? That I screwed up and we won't be sending any help north?"

"Well, he is your brother still, at least make peace with him before you head north."

"He's a traitor."

"You are now, too."

"Perhaps, but I don't plan to be the one to cast my sister down off her throne and take all she holds dear." A lie. He did want her off that throne. Wanted her off it and beside him at casterly rock, or some cabin somewhere. Anywhere but on that cursed throne that had cost them so much.

"Well, you aren't doing anything better, are you? Mine as well see where he stands on things now that your troops won't be heading north."

Jaime sighed inwardly. He'd have no choice but to see Tyrion this one last time. He had to make sure there wasn't an attack being plotted against Cersei.

"Very well then, let us finish our meals first and I will await Tyrion's arrival."

A few moments later Bronn and Jaime had both finished their meals 

"We're an hour or so early, but as I said, I have a surprise for you there."

Curious, Jaime followed Bronn to the brothel across the road.

They entered and Bronn excused himself for a moment. He returned a couple moments later with a girl.

"Brought her special from kings landing in case you showed up. Straight from little fingers brothel, cost a pretty coin. Hope she's blonde enough for you. I would've kept her for myself if you hadn't shown. Such a pretty thing.I paid for a week's worth of her time, so if you pay me what she cost, she's yours. "

To Jaime's shock, it was the girl he had paid coin to observe many times before. The girl who looked so like a young Cersei that if he were just a bit further gone mentally he would have convinced himself was Cersei.

Jaime remembered that he needed a fake wife to keep up his charade and so as to not arouse suspicion. This Cersei like girl would be perfect. As she wasn't a local, Jaime would not have to worry about her being recognized as a whore.

He reimbursed Bronn the coin he had paid for the girl and took her to a room. 

"Whats your name, girl?" he asked.

"Cybele" She replied. 

He debated taking her right then. After all, Cersei had already betrayed him, and she was so like Cersei. It took all his willpower to resist. He took her back to his room at the inn, then returned to the brothel to await Tyrion.

After a couple of beers and awkward talk with Bronn who had voiced his displeasure that he wouldn't be getting his castle and bride after all, Tyrion finally arrived. 

"Didn't think you'd come," was Tyrion's greeting to him.

"I came to check out the scenery." Jaime replied dryly.

"I see you've gotten your wits back." 

Tyrion continued, "Have you confronted our sister yet about her false promise to send help north?"

"I did."

"He lost his temper and threatened to leave for the north with all her armies. Still not sure how he escaped without being apprehended." Bronn butted in.

"I see. I will have to report Cersei's betrayal to my queen, you understand?"

"If you keep it between us, I will do anything, anything you want at all. And all will be forgiven for what you did to father." Jaime replied desperately."

"I'm afraid I can't accept that offer. Fear not though dear brother. I do not believe Daenerys will want war against the crown before the white walker threat is defeated. Cersei will have to be dealt with once the white walkers are defeated, likely a few years from now."

"What will Daenerys want to do with Cersei once the threat is defeated?"

"Daenerys is fair. There will be a trial."

"A trial? What in the seven hells for? She doesn't owe you her help!"

"No, no she doesn't, but between this and the sept a lot have died and will die because of her."

"She had no choice with the sept! She'd be dead right now if she hadn't done what she did."

"Perhaps, but it matters not. "

"You and I both know it won't be a fair trial. Cersei will die." 

"Most likely. I'm sorry, brother." 

"Then help me save her!"

"What would you have me do, have an army invade and kidnap her to whisk her away to the free cities?"

"Doesn't sound like a bad idea to me." 

"Well, it's not going to happen, and even if it did she would never stop fighting for that throne."

Jaime sighed. Tyrion was right. The only thing that would save Cersei now was to flee in the next few years before the white walkers were defeated. 'If they are defeated now, after what I've done.' he thought to himself. She was doomed unless he could come up with some way to save her in the next few years. If only he hadn't have lost his temper. The soldiers would be on their way north by now, with the dragon queen none the wiser to Cersei's original plan. Then he would return after the white walkers were defeated and hopefully be able to negotiate Cersei's surrender and safe passage to the free cities with him.

"Is there anything else you have to discuss with me?" Jaime asked. In truth, he just wanted to get back to the inn and forget how hopeless things were, however, he had to fish for some more information. Had to find out if Tyrion had any inkling of what had truly happened to Viserion.

"If you'd like you could come with me to meet Daenerys. Offer up your help to her in any way as I have."

Jaime considered the offer. He couldn't though, Cersei might find him if he didn't lay low. 

Sensing what Jaime was thinking Tyrion spoke again. "You'd be protected. Our sister won't dare attack us or try anything at all this early. Not when we still have two dragons under our control. Not to mention the fact that our solders outnumber hers by quite a lot" 

"I've heard the rumors and was wondering, what exactly happened to Viserion?" Jaime asked innocently, fishing for information.

"In truth we aren't sure. We believe he's been turned undead by the night king, but we have not been able to get a close enough look to tell for sure. Why? You don't know anything about it, do you?" Tyrion asked suspiciously.

"No, of course not. I was just worried. An uncontrollable dragon is a trouble for us all." Jaime replied, trying his best to sound innocent.

Thankfully, Tyrion seemed to buy his explanation. Jaime changed the subject.

"Do you really think the dragon queen would welcome me with open arms? I did kill her father."

"She knows what you did was for the good of the realm. She knows exactly what her father was. She is nothing like him."

"Be that as it may, I think I would prefer to travel on my own."

"If you're sure, then. Have a safe journey, brother." 

Jaime almost wanted to hug him. He'd almost forgiven him for what he'd done to father. Almost. Until Tyrion had revealed Cersei would likely die after this white walker threat was eradicated. Tyrion excused himself and Jaime bid him a stony farewell. 

When Jaime returned to the inn much later he was downhearted and drunk out of his mind. He took Cybele several times that night, the whole time pretending she was Cersei. 

During the next several weeks, Jaime did nothing but eat, sleep and fuck Cybele, each time pretending she was Cersei and that he was twenty-five years younger. A week in she'd insisted she needed to return to the brothels as Bronn had only paid her for a weeks time. Jaime hadn't cared. He assured her he would pay for all the additional time. 

Nearly three fortnights later Jaime finally decided it was safe to travel north. A part of him wanted to take Cybele with him. If she had resembled Cersei in personality and not just looks perhaps he would have, but she was meek and mild-mannered whereas Cersei was fierce and bold. It had grown harder and harder to pretend she was Cersei the longer they were together, so he knew he couldn't take her with him. Still, he had grown somewhat fond of her and didn't want her to have to go back to the brothels, so he left her with more than enough gold coin to find a house and support herself.

The journey north to the wall would normally take roughly three months from where Jaime departed, however, Jaime decided to play it safe and stay off King's Road, least he be found by Cersei's solders. Therefore it ended up taking him much longer. It was a little over half a years time before Jaime finally arrived at the wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Used info from Oregon Trail to calculate travel time lol...well the miles on it are about the same as the miles people said were from king's landing to the wall and I figure if staying off main roads it would take roughly six months time, as people said traveling the Oregon trail did. Plus according to what I researched it supposedly takes three weeks from Winterfell to the wall and that's following kings road. Please review, constructive criticism is okay too)


	6. Valonqar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cersei pov, set immediately after Jaime strangles her and causes her to pass out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to do a Cersei pov next. Not my original plan, but I think the story will come together better this way (plus I'm having major writer's block on the Jaime in the north chapters). I hope people are still interested in reading this now that season 7 has started. Also, you may want to grab some tissues.

Cersei had been unconsciousness for several hours when finally she awoke, dazed and confused. The last thing she could remember was Jaime. Jaime kissing her? No, that wasn't right, they had been arguing. What had happened after that? Suddenly, it all came to her. His hands around her neck. His eyes staring off into space as if he were completely gone inside. The feel of needing air so very badly. Trying to claw at his face to get him to stop. The breath leaving her body. Her final thought had been of the valonqar. She had always thought that it would be Tyrion. Never Jaime. No, not her sweet Jaime. Was she....dead now? She looked around, trying to get her bearings. Then she felt wetness. It felt like she was lying in something wet? She looked down. The lower half of her black gown was all red. Blood, she quickly realized. Lots of blood. She let out a shrill.

There were no guards right outside the room. However, there were guards further down the hall. Finally, the screams reached them and two guards, one from either side, came rushing into the room. Both drew their swords as they enquired Cersei as to what had happened.

"My queen, what is the matter?" asked the first guard, before taking in the sight and noticing all the blood. 

"Did someone hurt you?" asked the second guard, who wasn't very bright.

"Qyburn! I need Qyburn now. Tell him it is an emergency!"

"He is just down the hallway in his quarters sleeping." replied the second guard.

"Get him now, you buffoon!"

"Yes, my queen" replied the knight before rushing off.

"What happened, my Queen? asked the remaining knight. There was blood, so much blood.

"You will wait here until Qyburn arrives, and then you will leave and never speak a word of this to anyone if you value your life." she replied, ignoring his concerns.

"Yes, my Queen."

Very shortly later the other knight returned with Qyburn, both clearly out of breath. Qyburn was still in his night clothes and had clearly rushed to his Queen's aid. 

As they arrived remembering her words and warning, the other guard gave a curtsy and made his leave.

"My baby. I'm losing my baby." Cersei sobbed out as soon as Qyburn arrived. 

"You should leave, and speak to no one of this and shut the door behind you," Qyburn said to the guard, seeing that Cersei was too hysterical to address him. They quickly took a bow and left.

Qyburn took in the site with melancholic eyes. There was so much blood. Qyburn hardly even saw any point in examining his queen. It was obvious what had happened. Nevertheless, if he didn't attempt to do anything she would likely have his head. Well, maybe not as she needed him and his expertise, but either way, an angry Cersei was not a Cersei he wanted to deal with, especially if that anger was to be directed at him.

"Let me examine you, perhaps there is something I can do." He lied. 

Mostly for show, he began his exam. Blood. Lots of blood. Most of it dried, some not. She didn't seem to still be bleeding though at least, so that was a good sign. She would certainly be feeling quite weak for some time, but she would surely live. He would be lucky however if she didn't fling herself from the red keep after finding out she had lost her baby. He had to think fast. He was fairly certain her baby was dead, but Cersei couldn't find out. For then whom would take the throne? Himself? He had no claim and the people would accept him even less than they accepted Cersei. Likely the dragon queen would quickly lay claim once figuring out about Cersei's demise, and she may not take so kindly to his type of work.

Cersei kept asking about her baby and if he could save it. Qyburn didn't know what to do. Didn't know if he had the means or not to come up with some way to fake this pregnancy. He had been working on various mind experiments, but nothing quite this scale. 

"My queen, it is risky, but I may be able to save the baby. I have something in my chambers that can possibly save your baby." It was a lie, a sweet lie., but he had to buy some time.

"Go now. Hurry."

As Qyburn rushed off he thought about what to do. There was a slim chance, but maybe, just maybe she hadn't lost her baby. He had many devices and experiments he used to test on the prisoners. He thought back to his experiments on pregnant women. Quickly going over the devices he had used he thought back to a harmless device he just used for monitoring. It was a device specifically designed it to detect fetal heartbeats. Looking through his drawers, he quickly found it. He also grabbed some milk of the poppy in case she was in any pain, as well as a harmless potion that acted as a mood stabilizer and calmed one down. He would tell her this potion had saved her baby. It couldn't hurt any to endure her even more to him and his work.

Finally returning to Cersei with both the device, milk of poppy and the potion, Qyburn let himself in and spoke. 

"Drink this potion quickly, then I have some milk of the poppy for you if you are in any pain my Queen. " he said handing her the potion.

Without replying, Cersei quickly guzzled all of the potion down, thinking it would save her baby. 

When she finished it she spoke. " How long until we know if my baby is alright? Days? Weeks? Months?" 

"We will know much sooner than that your grace. The potion only takes a few moments to work, if it does work that is. I am sorry, I have not had very many opportunities to test it. I do believe however that it can and will help save your baby." he lied.

"I also have an instrument here to detect fetal heartbeats, I can use it on you in a few moments, to check if the baby's heart rate is steady and strong. I can also come back later instead and check if you are in any of the pain. I brought milk of the poppy."

"No, I will not rest until I know if my baby is alright."

"Very well then, Your Grace"

As they waited, Cersei finally had collected herself enough to think to mention Jaime. 

"Jaime caused this. He strangled me. I thought I was going to die." she spoke, beginning to sob once again.

"I'm sorry, my queen. Would you like me to inform the guards to capture sir Jaime?"

"I don't know how long ago it was, I was unconscious, he's likely escaped by now. It was light out, past dinner time, but before sunset when it happened. Now it is dark out. How long has it been?

"It's nearly morning I believe, your grace. In fact, the sun should be coming up soon I believe" 

"So, I've been unconscious for hours, bleeding for I don't know how long. Will my baby really live?"

"I am not sure, your grace, I hope so. We will know shortly. Are you well enough to walk? "

"I feel quite a bit weak, but I believe so."

"I will send someone in to clean this mess and help you into a fresh set of clothes if you'd like. As well as inform the guards that Jaime is to be captured."

"Yes, I'd like that. Please, help me to the chair over there, first. Tell them to bring my brother to the dungeons, if they do capture him. And that there will be a reward to whoever captures him. Tell them to feel free to harm him, but nothing permanent or scarring."

Qyburn helped a weakened Cersei to the chair

"Yes, my Queen. I will do that and by the time I am back here it should be time enough to check if your baby is alright." 

Qyburn went off and found the nearest guard, informing them to alert all the other guards to be on the lookout for Sir Jaime and to capture him if they spotted him. Then he sought and found two of his most trusted little birds, whom Cersei had working the red keep as maids.

"You are both needed in the dungeon chambers to clean up a mess and help the queen into a clean gown. The room the queen is in is the gray room, with the lion sigil painted on the door." 

"Yes Qyburn. They replied ever obediently. 

Qyburn busied himself with some menial tasks in his quarters, which were of course also down in the dungeons as that's where he had requested them before he decided enough time had passed. 

Meanwhile, Cersei was being helped into a gown by one of the girls, while the other cleaned the bedding. Finally, the two girls asked if they could leave. Normally Cersei would have asked for one to pour a glass of wine for her first, but this time all that was on her mind was her baby and whether or not it would survive. Even Jaime who had put her in this predicament was now but a distant thought. Cersei bid them their leave. 

After a few more minutes, finally, there was a knock. "It's me, your grace." 

"Come in."

"Are you ready?" 

"Yes, what do I need to do. "

"It would be best if you could lie down. I will put this instrument on your stomach and then I can tell you whether your baby is healthy or not."

"Very well then, help me to the sofa again. I am still feeling quite weak."

"You will need to eat something sugary to regain your strength quicker. The cooks should awake soon with breakfast if I am correct on the timing." He said as he helped her to the now clean, but stained sofa, which would likely be replaced.

Laying down on the sofa Cersei would have normally remarked about the servants being useless and the stain still remaining, but this time all her thoughts were for her baby.

"If you could unbutton the buttons over your stomach, please."

"Of course."

Finally, Qyburn put the device on his ears and positioned the listening part over her stomach. He listened. At first, he heard nothing, This device didn't always work on a woman in their first trimester, but Cersei was nearing the end of hers and heading into her second trimester, so he had hoped it would work. He moved the device around a few more times, listening in different areas. 

"Can you hear anything?" asked Cersei, worriedly.

"Sometimes it takes a while to find the right spot. No need to worry yet."

He was about to give up before finally, he heard it. A heartbeat. Steady and strong. By some miracle, she hadn't lost her baby after all. If Qyburn had believed in the gods he would have silently said a thank you to them right then and there.

"Your grace. Your baby is alright. More than alright. The heartbeat is steady and strong."

"Thank you." Cersei began to cry again, this time tears of joy. Her baby was alive. She would make sure that no harm ever again would come to it. She didn't know what she would do, but tomorrow( or rather today seeing as it was now morning), after informing every one of Jaime's betrayal, she would come up with a plan. 

Cersei Lannister would never know that she had been pregnant with twins. She would never know that she had lost yet another son that night. She would never know that the life had been choked from her by her very own beloved twin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will likely be a Cersei chapter too then I will likely have to write whats going on with Jaime in the north. Please please please review and thank you for all the reviews so far :)


	7. Cersei's Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cersei's Plan's for the foreseeable future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About to watch the finale....hope my shipper heart doesn't get broken too much ;(

The next morning as soon as she awoke Cersei headed to the throne room and addressed the smallfolk, as well as had ravens sent far and wide. She let everyone know of Jaime's betrayal and made sure to inform everyone that if any of them betrayed the crown they would be enduring a fate in the dungeons worse than death. A lofty reward was placed for whomever would find and capture Jaime Lannister. Per her orders, he was to be brought to her alive. The small folk thought her a mad queen and having heard the mostly true rumors of what she had done to prisoners assumed that she wanted to have that tall and odd looking guard she always had around her, or Qyburn or even herself torture him.

After finishing her address Cersei had her breakfast in her chambers before summoning for Qyburn. She was still feeling quite anxious about her baby and decided she would have him do daily fetal heartbeat checks. She would have to admonish him as well for failing to inform her he had such a device. She also needed to know if he possibly had anything that would prolong a pregnancy, for at being nearly four months pregnant the chances of Euron ever believing this child to be his were slim to none.

After Qyburn checked her babies heartbeat once again and gave it and her a clean bill of health, with advice to rest up these next few days, she voiced her concerns.

"Is there anything you can use on me or give me to safely prolong this pregnancy?"

"I am sorry, your grace, but I'm afraid that that is outside of even my realm of expertise."

"Do you know of anyone whom can, then? Please, I need for Euron to think this is his child. he will surely know it is not if I give birth four months before I've even lain with him!"

"I'm afraid such a thing is just not possible, your grace."

"You have to find some way." Cersei was starting to get hysterical now.

"May I give some advice, your grace?"

"I don't need advice, I need you to do something to help me!"

"I believe my advice will help you, your grace. If I may speak freely?"

"Very well then. It had better help."

"Euron has quite the ego, does he not? "

"He certainly does. What does this have to do with anything though?"

"I will get to that your grace." Qyburn replied before continuing on.

"He arrived here just over two months ago. You could have slept with him shortly after he arrived. For a child to be a month and a half early is not unheard of. With all the time you two spend together down here with that dragon horn, rumors have been flying that you two have already been intimate."

"Rumors? From whom? I will have their tongues! I have done no such thing! And you, are you accusing me of such?"

"No, your grace, of course not. I am merely stating that you could have slept with him then, had you taken it up to do so."

"Yes, well I really honestly didn't. So how does this help me any?" Cersei replied, growing impatient.

"I'm getting to that, your grace."

"Get to the point, please. I'm tired again."

"My point is, you don't have to have slept with him. Everyone already thinks you have. My little birds have been watching him, for signs of betrayal. Not, of course, the kind of betrayal we found, but my birds report on everything. "

"Continue on." Cersei replied, intrigued.

"We uncovered quite surprisingly that he does not enjoy brothels. However, he does enjoy the occasional bedding of pretty smallfolk girls. He also tends to get rather intoxicated before such encounters. In dim lighting and with him having been rather intoxicated, perhaps he could be made to believe that one of these women was you."

"Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"My apologies your grace, I know you bear no love for the man and I did not think it would be of any concern of yours."

"You should have told me still. "

"Please forgive me, your grace."

"I will let this slide, but in the future, you report anything like this to me. I may not love or even like the man, but any women he is sleeping with could be of a threat to me in other ways. "

"Of course your grace. My apologies again. If I may continue?."

"Go ahead,"

"As, I was saying, all you need do is tell him that you slept with him. Play up to his ego and tell him how you just couldn't resist him. The man is stupid and arrogant and I firmly believe he will buy it."

"What if he remembers details of these encounters?"

"My little birds heard much of what went on in many of such encounters, and there wasn't much that went on. The man barely lasts a moment. "

"I see. Well, I will tell him I'm pregnant with his child after I marry him then. It will certainly be a useful excuse for not consummating the marriage."

"Of course, your grace, however, you should be safe to have relations after a week or two of recovery from your near miscarriage."

"Well, he need not know that. If he asks, you'll tell him because of my age it isn't safe until the baby is born. "

"Of course, your grace."

Joffrey, Myrcella, and Tommen had all been born with flowing blonde locks and she assumed this child would too, which brought her to voice her next concern.

"There is one more concern I have."

"What is it?"

"This child will, of course, be emerald eyed and golden haired. Euron already believes the rumors. Being born even a month early is already going to make him suspicious I fear.. Is there any way to safely change the child's hair color? Euron won't suspect as much if the child has brown or black hair. Of course, I know there are dyes for hair but are those safe for an infant? "

"They are quite safe for infants. "

"Good then. To dye their hair will help protect them from anyone suspecting the truth. I wish I had done so with Joffrey, Myrcella, and Tommen. Perhaps then Ned Stark would never have come to know the truth and things would be so very very different now. Perhaps then my children would still be alive."

"Perhaps, your grace. Or he may have still figured it out from the eye color. "

"Any safe way to change that? Though I'd rather hate for the child to not have the Lannister emerald eyes."

"No, not any safe way, but it seems the Greyjoys are not known for only having one eye color as the Bartheans were known for all being blue eyed. I don't believe green eyes will arouse any suspicion."

"Good then. When the time comes, I will have the guards ensure Euron stays out, if that is he tries to enter which in itself is already unlikely. You of course will deliver the baby with the help of your most loyal and trusted birds if need be. I do not know whom of my guards or staff I can trust anymore. I couldn't even trust Jaime. " She stated, holding back a sob.

"Of course your grace. I'm very sorry about Jaime."

"Thank you. You are the only one I can trust anymore. You've been a good hand, Qyburn."

"Of course, your grace. Anything else I can help with?"

"I believe that is all."

With that Cersei headed off to rest some. She was still feeling rather weak from all the blood she had lost. She was thankful to the gods that she hadn't lost her baby. She was still in shock over the whole thing.

The next two weeks passed by rather uneventfully. Finally, the day came for her wedding to Euron. A reception was held, one much smaller than the previous wedding receptions. Cersei knew it wouldn't be wise to anger the small folk with large spending. Not that that had ever stopped her before, but now with Jaime gone she needed to be more cautious.

After the reception, the mountain escorted Cersei to Euron's chambers. Cersei hadn't wanted him in her chambers any so she had told Euron she would meet him in his chambers tonight for what he assumed would be the consummation. She had arranged it so that he would be escorted here shortly later. Unbeknownst to him the mountain would be hidden away in the shadows, ready to attack shall Euron show any signs of disbelief at her story. Cersei didn't want to lose Euron yet, not when he controlled a dragon and not before she was sure his men would follow her command, but if it came down to it a poisoning could always be faked if she absolutely had to.

Shortly later, Euron arrived.

"My beautiful bride and queen." he greeted her, smiling charmingly at her.

"Euron, my king." she replied, forcing herself to say the words she knew he wanted to hear.

" There is something I must tell you." she continued on, eager to get to the point and get this night over with.

"It can surely wait. I know you must be rather eager to see what I have to give you. I can promise you, you won't be missing that brother of yours anymore once you see what's in store for you."

Cersei began the speech she had rehearsed many times in her mind, hoping he was as stupid as Qyburn thought.

"I have already seen what you have to offer me. How can you not remember our night?" She said, feigning hurt. Her pride prevented her from voicing the lie that she could just not resist him. Hopefully this would be enough.

"Our night?!" replied Euron incredulously.

"The night we shared shortly after you arrived. You were rather intoxicated but you surely must remember. "

Euron looked at her suspiciously, and she forced herself to remain calm. After a moment, he replied.

"My apologies, I do remember that night. You were a real wildcat. Or lioness I should say. I knew you couldn't resist me. No wonder your brother left. Bet after having me you grew rather dissatisfied with him, eh?" He replied, seeming to buy her lie.

"Of course." She lied, suppressing an eye roll.

"You really are one of a kind, Euron" she added. Well, that was the truth, but it wasn't a good thing.

"Well, let's get to it. I know you've been waiting a long time for some more of this."

"That isn't all, Euron. That night I conceived. I'm pregnant with your child."

"Sure it's mine and not your brothers?"

"How dare you ask such a thing! "

"I know the rumors are true."

"Very well then. Yes, I'm sure. Jaime and I haven't lain together in many months. There is no way possible I could be pregnant from him." She said, lying to him.

"Good then. You know, I'm actually surprised his seed was even able to take root in you not once, but three times before."

"What are you implying?" asked Cersei aghast.

"Nothing about you, my Queen. Just that brother of yours seemed like the kinda guy who might be shooting blanks."

Ignoring his rude comment, and her urge to slap him, Cersei spoke again.

" I'm afraid we will not be able to consummate right away. Qyburn has advised me against any marital relations. He says at my age it could be risky for the baby." She forced an apologetic smile at her new husband.

"That's a damn shame. What did he say about your mouth though?" Euron replied, smiling back at her.

"Excuse me?"

"Qyburn. You said he said your womanhood is off limits, for now, I was just wondering if the same applies to your mouth as well."

Cersei fought the bile rising in her throat. It wouldn't be a good idea to let Euron see her repulsion. He might then catch on to the truth about her pregnancy. She couldn't dispose of him yet. Not when she wasn't sure if his men would follow her without his lead. Nor when he controlled Viseryn. With those thoughts, she forced a seductive smile at him and walked forward to him. He wasted no time pulling down his pants and underclothes, Cersei wasted no time sinking to her knees. She wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.

After finishing, Euron smiled at her as she forced herself to swallow his seed before she stood up.

"Bet you loved that. Bet you cannot wait till I can give it to you ." He said to her.

"Of course, I cannot wait. if you don't mind though, I am rather tired." Cersei replied, forcing a smile.

" I bet you won't be able to resist a visit to my chambers tomorrow night to repeat this." boosted Euron.

"Perhaps, we shall see. " she lied, having no intent to repeat this encounter so soon.

She headed back to her chambers. After having throughoutly cleaned her mouth Cersei headed to her bed and began to think. She had thought if Euron accepted the truth that her worries about this child would cease some, however she found that was not the case.

in spite of Euron's buying her lie, and the added fact that she had plans to mask the child's hair color, thus further sealing the lie, she still didn't feel as if the child she carried was safe. Even if Euron never found out the truth, and never intended this child any harm, there were still so many others whom would want to harm the heir to the throne. She wanted to do more to protect this child.

She tossed and turned for much of the night, before coming to the conclusion that there was only one person in the whole entire realm whom could give her the help she needed. It would be difficult to find them, but she knew it must be done. With those thoughts, Cersei finally slept soundly. Tomorrow, tomorrow she would arrange to have this person brought to the red keep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry For what happened with Cersei/Euron, thought it would be too ooc for him to not at least try and get something. Next few chapters are Jaime chapters, then I will get back to Cersei. Sorry! And sorry it's been so long on updates, I really wanted to make sure I had a chapter to upload around finale night and the first Jaime chapter is only half done, I'm still having some writers block with it. And thank you for all the reviews! Each and every one, even if you just say you hope the next chapter is soon mean a lot to me. You guys are what keep me from abandoning this story! Hopefully, none of this chapter was too far fetched...apparently they have hair dyes in the books  
> accordin to this topic: http://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php?/topic/108653-hair-dye/


	8. A Not So Warm Welcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime's welcome into the north doesn't go quite how he expected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I consider the previous chapters to be the beginning of the story and this now is the middle. I still dunno exactly how long this will be, but we are now in what I'd consider "season 8 material." Sorry for the wait...I was so writers blocked with this chapter! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed in the past and sorry I haven't been so good at replying to them.

Finally, after a long but rather uneventful journey, Jaime arrived at castle black to help defend the wall. The first snowflake had fallen on his hand just a week prior to his arrival and winter had finally come. He'd had months to think of what he should say upon arriving. He thought it best to tell the truth, for Tyrion surely would have informed Daenerys anyway.

He'd long since abandoned his soldier garb and had been traveling in peasant clothes. He'd also had the golden hand covered, so as to not arouse suspicion.

Tyrion, of course, knew the truth about why Jaime wasn't bringing the promised troops, but Jaime hoped to spin that truth in a way that might make Cersei look not quite so bad. He was going to claim that Cersei had in fact intended to bring the promised troops. His claim would be that due to Daenerys dragon going out of control Cersei felt she could not trust her to return the troops in one piece. He would claim that what Cersei had said about hoping the undead depleted their forces had been said merely as a result of her anger about Daenerys lack of control over her dragons. It would hopefully save Cersei from any retaliation by the dragon queen.

He snapped himself out of those thoughts to concentrate on the guards standing before him at the entrance to castle black.

"I'm Jaime Lannister and I'm here to help in any way possible against the white walker threat. I would like to speak to my brother, the hand of the queen, Tyrion." Jaime stated to the two bored looking men.

"Jaime Lannister eh? Long ago we were given instructions to bring you to the king of the north immediately should you ever show up. Come with me."' said the first guard, grabbing him by the arm as another guard grabbed Jaime by his other arm.

On the way to wherever the guards were taking him, Jaime looked up at the sky and saw Drogon alone flying high above the town. He wondered where Rhaegael was. He wondered if Qyburn had succeeded in making another dragon horn and if Cersei was now in control of him.

Finally, Jaime was led to a large and empty room full of chairs. The two guards remained and were shortly joined by two more guards. They escorted him to one of the chairs and Jaime took a seat, each guard remained standing, one on each side of him and two behind him. Jaime got an uneasy feeling in his stomach. Something wasn't feeling right about this welcome. He tried to make small talk with the guards but was largely mocked and ignored.

A very long time passed before Jon Snow finally arrived. However, to Jaime's dismay, he was with the dragon queen and there was no Tyrion in sight. He'd hoped to speak to Tyrion first to judge how well his lie about Cersei would be bought.

"Jaime Lannister? " spoke Jon Snow.

"Yes. I am here to help in any way I can against the white walker threat. I regret that I could not bring..." Before he could finish his sentence he was cut off.

"What did your sister do to my dragons?!" Inquired an infuriated Daenerys.

"We don't know for sure that he knows anything about what happened to Viserion and Rhaegal." cut in Jon, before Jaime had a chance to reply.

"I am sure he must have had knowledge of it. We all know how close to his sister he is. Perhaps he was sent here as a spy..."

Jon cut in again addressing his wife and queen.

"He's an honorless man that is certain. However, we should not act rashly. As we do know of his other crimes. I say we lock him in the dungeons and have a fair trial in a few days time."

"This man is part of the reason why Viserion and Rhaegal may be lost to me forever. I want him to burn in Drogon's fire." stated Daenerys.

"What? I risked my life to come here!" Exclaimed Jaime.

"And that shall be taken into consideration. Guards!" Stated Jon.

The first two guards approached him and escorted him to the dungeons. Jaime briefly debated fighting them and making a run for it, but there was no sliver of hope that he would be successful in any escape, and having nowhere to go he saw little point. He would just have to hope Tyrion could help him somehow.

Time passed. Jaime could only tell by his counting of the meals and nights. Two nights and five meals passed. Plenty of time for him to think and reflect on things. He felt guilty for his month with Cybele. He'd betrayed Cersei over and over by pretending some younger lookalike was her. She had been faithful to him except for the one time with Lancel, he hoped anyway. There were still worries about the baby. It seemed so hard to believe, that she who had been pregnant four times previously would not have noticed the signs of pregnancy sooner. And she had been spending so much time in the dungeons, how many times has she been with Euron down there? Watching him with the dragon horn, or perhaps something more? His jealousy began to rear its ugly head. Between that and his anger at being locked up, he punched the wall, hurting his fist. It was then he heard a voice.

"Don't do that, you'll damage your one good hand."

"Tyrion! Why didn't you come sooner? I come here to help and I am thrown into a cell!"

"I am sorry, brother. I wanted to come sooner but it is crazy out there. Every time we destroy one white walker or wight, it seems there are another five to take it's place. Thankfully the wall holds secure for now."

"That's terrible. But, why am I here? Why does the dragon queen think I would show up here if I had any knowledge of what happened to her dragons"

"Daenerys doesn't trust or like you, in spite of all my best efforts to convince her otherwise. She wants very much to roast you in dragon fire. She believes Cersei has taken control over both Rhaegal and Viserion and believes you know of it. "

"I have no knowledge of it, I swear, brother. And I do not believe Cersei would do such a thing." replied Jaime, telling a half lie. For though he did know about Viserion, he really did have no knowledge of Rhaegal. As for Cersei, he still did find it hard to believe that she chose to do such a thing. It very well may win her the war against the dragon queen, but what good would that do her when the white walkers marched north?

"We are certain Cersei has taken control over them. For much time we thought it was the night king, however, the dragons have made no attack against us, save for Viserion's initial attack when we believe she first took control of him. I remembered that once, Yara Greyjoy told us those myths we heard about the Greyjoys and dragon horns were not just myths. These things lead us to believe Cersei is keeping them inactive. We believe she hopes we win the war, but with many casualties. "

"I am sorry brother. I had no knowledge of such a thing." Lied Jaime again.

"I find it hard to believe you had no knowledge of it, especially regarding Viserion. However, as you are my brother I can give you the benefit of the doubt, as you did so long ago for me."

"I am sorry Cersei accused you of Joffrey;s murder. We found it is was Olenna Tyrell who killed him. After our army raided high garden and all was lost to her she confessed, just before drinking fatal poison."

"She drank poison? I bet Cersei wasn't too happy about that." said Tyrion, knowing Cersei would have surely wanted to punish the women.

"No, no she wasn't."

"I'm afraid there is more bad news brother."

"And what would that be?"

"Jon Snow knows. He knows that you crippled Bran."

"Great. So, what is to become of me?"

"There is a trial for you the day after tomorrow. Several people here including myself will speak on your behalf. "

"And Cersei, after this war is won?"

"I cannot help Cersei, not after what she's done. Daenerys wants her head even more than yours. You know those dragons are like children to her."

"She was pregnant when I fled."

Tyrion softened then.

"I am sorry. The child shall not be harmed if I can help it. However, Cersei's actions may just cost us this war. We may very well all die because of her taking control over the dragons. You are not blameless either. Your action of losing your temper prevented you from being able to bring the needed troops here, which also puts us at a huge disadvantage in fighting the dead."

"I'm sorry. I just lost it when she told me about Lancel."

"I told you about Lancel."

"I thought it was a lie to turn me against her."

"I wouldn't lie to you, especially not about something like that."

"Does everyone know why I left in such a rush?"

"Aye, I had no choice as my spies know that you and Cersei got into a heated argument and you stormed off without bringing the troops. It certainly hasn't helped Daenery's opinion of you any. She says someone so temperamental and rash cannot be trusted. Jon Snow agrees with her. I am sorry. I have tried so hard in these past months to endure them to you. I've even told them of your military and tactical experience, but they say you would be a liability to us on any battlefield."

"Because of my hand?"

"No, because they believe you to be temperamental and rash."

" So, a trial. What does that mean, exactly? Am I to roast in dragon fire for coming here?

"Not if I can help it. There are others here too whom will speak on your behalf. If I have to I will stage a rebellion. I won't let you roast, that I promise you. Any other questions?"

"One more, out of mere curiosity. Are the dragon queen and Jon Snow... together?"

"Yes, they married shortly after arriving here."

The next day, the day before his trial, Jaime had time to think even more. In spite of Tyrion's assurance, Jaime was sure he would die tomorrow. He wondered how Cersei would feel when the news reached her. Would she cry? Would she be relieved? The latter thought really hurt him. He wondered if she still loved him even. He knew he still loved her. He hoped she hadn't married Euron. That thought made him feel even sicker. He willed himself not to vomit, meals were only given to him three times a day and they were not very filling.

Finally, it came time for sleep, after much time spent worrying about his trial Jaime finally fell into a deep slumber. He dreamt a sweet dream where Cersei was his wife and they had three green-eyed children and one blue-eyed child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, you guys didn't find this chapter as boring to read as I found it to write! Next chapter is Jaime's trial, and the chapter after that is a Cersei chapter which will be titled "2nd Prophecy, 2nd Chance?" Yes, I now have a good idea of how I want this to end, but it will take a long time to get there so please be patient. And I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter :)


	9. The Trial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you delusaedisillusa for reviewing. Is anyone else on this site still reading this?

Shortly after Jaime was awoken and given his breakfast a guard came and escorted him to the same room full of chairs that he had been brought to upon his arrival here. This time, the room was full. Jaime was escorted to a seat in the front. The king in the north was to his right and the dragon queen to his left. The dragon queen spoke first, saying his name scornfully as if it were a poison upon her lips.

"Jaime Lannister. Do you know why we have brought you here, to have this trial?"

"You believe I have knowledge of what happened to your dragons."

"Correct. There are other things however that I would like to address first."

"Of course."

"Why did you kill my father?"

"He was a madman, he wanted to burn the whole of kings landing with wildfire."

" Yes, my father was a madman. A tyrant who wanted to burn them all. Someone needed to kill him, but it should not have been you. You were sworn to protect him. Why. I wonder did you kill my father for his sins, yet your sister blew up a sept burning thousands, and you continued to serve her, even continuing to share her bed?"

"If I could explain the situation better."

"We haven't got all day, we have a war to fight. A war one of my best soldiers is missing out on due to her eagerness to speak on your behalf here today. " She said looking pointedly at Brienne.

Jaime turned in the direction Daenerys was looking and noticed Brienne. He smiled, glad that she was still alive and safe. That was something, at least. Then he spoke again.

"It won't take long, I promise." What he really wanted to say was 'I could have already explained it in the time you took to complain about my friend speaking on my behalf for a trial you set up.' but it would not be a good idea to anger the dragon queen further.

"Fine explain why you did not kill your sister when she burned thousands as you were so quick to kill my father before he had the chance to commit an act of mass murder." Daenerys replied, her temper rising.

"She was to have a trial that day. One that likely would have resulted in her death. She felt her only option to save herself was to blow up the sept. "

"Yes, Tyrion explained this all to me before. So you feel that the murder of thousands was justifiable to save the life of one?"

He'd never thought of it that way before. In truth, had he been born as Cersei he would have fled far out of the sparrows reaches when trouble arose, hopefully convincing his male counterpart to flee with him. But, did he think it justifiable? No, no he did not. But, it was that or her death and as much as he felt bad about all the innocents who died along with the sparrows, he did not blame her any. He was glad she had done what needed to be done to save herself in his absence. However voicing so? That would not be a wise decision.

"Not justifiable, no. But, I understand why she did it." He stated.

"And while all this was going on, what were you doing?"

"I was in riverrun, helping our allies."

"Quite convenient that you managed to be out of the city when the wildfire was ignited."

"He is telling the truth, Your Grace. I was there with him as were many other soldiers, a few of whom are here now." A voice Jaime barely recognized spoke out. Jaime recognized them as a friend of Bronn's and he noted several familiar looking Lannister soldiers seated nearby the man. Jaime hoped to spot Bronn among them but had no such luck.

"Sir Jaime and the soldiers tell the truth, your grace. I saw them in riverrun. Jaime and I talked some and I tried to return Oathkeeper to him, he insisted I keep it. He also returned the castle for his allies without causing any casualties." Cut in Brienne.

"Very well then, I believe him." Daenerys stated, before turning towards Jaime to address him once more.

" You, of course, have more grievous sins then the murder of my father and falling to protect the city from your sister. We will move onto those now." she stated, nodding to Jon.

" You crippled a young boy. How do you explain yourself?" This time it was Jon speaking.

"I acted rashly and in the moment. At the time, I felt it was the only way to protect myself and Cersei... and the children." He added in the last part, almost as an afterthought.

A new voice spoke out. "It's true that Jaime did cripple me. I forgive him, though. If he hadn't have done so, I wouldn't be who I am today. I wouldn't be the three-eyed raven. If it were up to me I'd give him another chance."

Jaime looked in the direction of the voice. Bran, he realized, shocked that the boy had somehow survived in his condition and circumstances for all this time.

"He should be punished for what he did, should he not?" spoke up Jon Snow.

"I would not be happy with that. I also foresaw that without him here, we will lose many more men than we would otherwise." stated Bran.

Jaime wondered what he was talking about. Foresaw? Was Bran a seer now? He really needed to have a long talk with Tyrion if he came out of this alive.

Suddenly, another voice spoke up in Jaime's defense.

"Jaime sent Brienne to find me and keep me safe. Though she did not end up finding me, Jaime did try. He has some honor in him." said a vaguely familiar sounding voice that Jaime quickly realized belonged to Sansa Stark.

He was glad the girl had made it here safe and relieved she had spoken in his defense. He briefly wondered if Arya was here too and if she too would speak up on his behalf.

"I too would like to speak up in support of Sir Jaime. He helped me get safely out of kings landing." stated another voice. Jaime turned to look at where the voice was coming from.

Brienne's squire he realized. Podrik Payne.

Is there anyone else who would like to speak on Sir Jaime's behalf?" asked Jon.

A couple more soldiers that Jaime never bothered to learn the names of spoke up in support of him.

Then, finally, Tyrion spoke.

"Jaime is my brother and I trust him. He has extensive tactical knowledge and I believe he could prove very helpful in defeating the white walkers. Regardless, he does not deserve to die. He came here to help us. If we treat those who try to help us this way, what kind of message does that send to the people?"

"Enough. We will take everyone's opinion into consideration. Is there anything you have to say Jaime?" asked Jon.

"I am sorry for what I did to Bran. But, in that situation, that moment, I panicked. If he would have told, I knew it would have meant death for Cersei and I. And our children of course."

"Understood. However, we are not done here. Why did you not defy your sister and take the Lannister and Tarly armies north? From what I have heard they would have followed you. As you can see, we even have some of them whom fled here against your sister's wishes." stated Jon.

"We argued, and I left in a very spur of the moment like fashion." Even as he was saying it he felt stupid. Thank the gods no one here knew why he had had to flee in such a fashion.

"That is what Tyrion told us as well. So, because you had a lovers spat, the whole realm shall suffer? Surely you could have left at a later date after gathering the armies and not stormed off like an insolent child." exclaimed Daenerys.

"I..."

"Don't bother talking anymore. There is nothing, nothing you can say that will make anything you have done alright. We will supper and decide your fate. You will remain here, with guards for the time being. A meal will be brought to you. Enjoy it as it may be your last." Spoke Daenerys.

Some time later Daenerys, Jon, Sansa, Brienne, Podrik, and Tyrion all returned, but the rest of the crowd did not. Jaime hoped he was not about to be escorted outside to face Dragon fire.

Daenerys stared at him with hatred in her eyes and began to speak.

"If it wasn't for the counsel of my closest allies and friends I would have burned you in dragon fire the moment you arrived here. I would like instead to send you into exile. However, Tyrion has been adamant that with winter upon us to do so would be its own death sentence. Furthermore, I know the validity of Bran's visions and Jon and I both believe in them. Therefore you shall remain here to help us fight against the white walkers. I will not even ask that you bend the knee, as I would not believe you even if you did. However, if I find you have betrayed us in any way you will roast in dragon fire. Understood?:

"Understood."

"Good then."

Next, Jon Snow began to speak.

"Since Tyrion has spoken glowingly of your knowledge on military tactics you may be useful and advise the generals on tactics. However, you will fight just the same as any other soldier, nothing more. Someone hotheaded and rash enough to storm off as you did has no place heading an army. "

Jon continued speaking.

"Now on to the problem of your living arrangements. The castle, surrounding houses, and huts are all quite crowded, hence many of our soldiers are sharing their living spaces. Now seeing as we do not trust you, you will be rooming with someone of our choosing."

"And whom would that be?"

"Someone whom I have grown to trust a lot in these past few months, in spite of their association with you. The only person whom I trust other than Tyrion, who doesn't seem to completely despise the idea of rooming with you. Brienne of Tarth." Finished Daenerys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured that Daenerys wouldn't want her hand Tyrion rooming with Jaime since even though she trusts him, there's a little bit of doubt as to whether he would cover for Jaime because of their relation. Whereas Brienne she figures cares for Jaime but doesn't have that family bond with him and would be more likely to report any wrongdoings. In the time that Jaime was traveling Brienne and Daenerys became good friends and Daenerys really trusts and values her, though not as much as she does Tyrion, Jorah, Davos, Greyworm or Missandei. Hope you guys find this chapter satisfactory. And ugh, hope no one got multiple notifications about me updating this. Every time I update it would go to the middle of the page rather then the top, so I deleted a couple times and reposted. But, cannot get it to post to top of the fandom page no matter what ;(


	10. Cersei's Annoyance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's taken so long again and that this isn't the chapter I've promised. Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter then usual. There will be another Cersei chapter coming soon. Thank you for all the reviews.

Two months had passed since Cersei's wedding to Euron. She was now officially five and a half months pregnant but in actuality seven months pregnant. Officially as much as she hated it she knew she would have to let all the common folk and others think she couldn't resist Euron and just had to have him upon his first arrival in Kingslanding. The thought humiliated her, but there was nothing she could do. She reminded herself quietly that a lioness should not concern herself with the opinions of the sheep.

The last few months had been lonely for her with Jaime gone. Qyburn became her closest friend and confident, though they did not talk much either, her preferring to leave him to his work on creating a second dragon horn.

Today, Cersei was having a private supper with Euron, she had to endure such things to keep him thinking this marriage alliance was a success. She couldn't stand his inane chatter. She wondered how long it would take for Qyburn to whip up something to modify Euron's personality and if such a thing were even possible to do. She would continue to endure Euron's repulsive personality for now however as she needed Qyburn to focus all of his efforts on creating a second dragon horn.

It was only five minutes into her dinner with Euron and Cersei found herself already having to suppress four eye rolls, as well as the urge to slap him at least twice when what he said next shook her.

"When the baby is born we should send a raven to castle black. Let everyone know the throne has a heir. Especially that brother of yours." Euron stated. 

"That brother of mine?"

"Yeah, you know. Not the imp, the cripple. You know, the one you used to fuck before he found out about us and ran off with the enemy? I figure he will be most interested in the news of our little brown haired son once he arrives." Euron stated with emphasis on the words brown haired.

"I know who you mean. However, we don't know that Jaime made it north even. Every reported sighting hasn't panned out. Besides that, Jaime is a traitor. We shall not give news to traitors. It would leave us vulnerable for our enemies to know of my condition." Replied Cersei, hoping in vain that this would be enough to persuade him not to send such news north.

Euron, however, found her reply rather humorous and let out a laugh.

"Vulnerable? We control a dragon and soon shall control another, then possibly all three. Perhaps you just don't want your brother to know......... or is it possible you will have a little golden haired child after all?" Questioned Euron, suspiciously.

"Well, I am a blonde myself. Children do not always have their fathers hair color, you know." Replied Cersei while suppressing both an eye roll and an urge to slap him.

"Well, I've never known a blonde Greyjoy."

"Then I assure you, this child will not be the first." Replied Cersei, suppressing yet another eye roll and making a mental note to make doubly sure Euron did not lay eyes on this child before she had the chance to modify its hair color.

Euron seemed satisfied with that answer and proceeded to change the subject to a story of one of his past battles. Cersei smiled and nodded at certain points and zoned out the rest. She decided to herself that she would have Qyburn's little birds intercept and inspect any messages sent from Euron. She would make sure none of his messages made it north. 

Two weeks later Cersei was sipping some Dornish wine in her chambers and snacking on lemon cakes when she heard a knock.

"Come in. This had better be important."

"Sir Qyburn would like to speak to you. " stated the guard who had been guarding outside her chamber as he entered the room.

It was rare for Qyburn to come to her without being summoned. 

"Return to your post and let him enter." Replied Cersei, interested. 

"Your grace. I have some important news." Stated Qyburn as the guard took his leave.

"Good news I hope."

"Very good news. I have finished work on the dragon horn. You can begin using it as soon as you would like. If you'd like I can quickly start working on a third one, now that I know what to do, I should be able to duplicate another in a fraction of the time."

"No, that won't be necessary yet. I would prefer you spend your time finding a way to make the original horn unbind to Euron."

"That may be very tricky, your grace. Of course, though I will try my best. Forgive me your grace, but are you sure you wouldn't rather I work on creating a second horn? It would take only a small fraction of the time that it took to create this one. Or of course, I could split my time between working on the two projects."

"I am sure. I'd like to be rid of Euron sooner rather then later and besides that, the white walkers may march south and destroy us all if they don't have at least one dragon to help them fight.I want you to concentrate all of your efforts on a way to make that horn unbind to Euron Every moment I have to endure him is a moment I don't quite like being Queen so much."

"Very well then. It's a day earlier than our scheduled weekly checkup, but while I'm here would you like me to see how the baby is doing?"

"Sure."

A few moments later and after detecting that the baby's heart rate was normal Qyburn once again reassured her of her child's health.

"Looks like your baby is doing excellent." Stated Qyburn.

"Thank you. I'm so glad I've made it this far. I just hope I do not give birth too soon. For the babies sake, and because then Euron will surely know the truth. Have your little birds uncovered anything on whether or not his armies would follow me were something unfortunate to happen to him?"

"We have and I'm afraid the news is not to your liking, your grace. "

"Do you know why not?"

"Put simply with most of them it is that they do not like the idea of following a woman over a man. With others, it is simply the issue that you are not ironborn. "

"Well, this is rather unfortunate. I shall hope to have a son then perhaps they would follow Euron's heir?"

"Some seem as if they may possibly be open to that. I will continue to see what else my little birds can uncover."

"I really fear though what shall happen if I give birth too soon for Euron to believe this is his child. I am not due for another six weeks, but of course, that's not the due date I've had to tell everyone. I also do not feel this child is ready to come into this world. I am not as big as I was with Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen. Though I suppose that is somewhat a good thing, in this case, it will make the lie easier for people to buy."

"Were you to give birth soon I believe the child, though likely small would survive. Any news of you going into labor before the appropriate time has past will be hushed. I can arrange to have the baby hidden away and your labor kept quiet. Further pregnancy can be faked with padding under your grown of which my little birds can help with."

"That is excellent news. Risky though so I do hope it does not come to that." 

"I hope not either your grace. Is there anything else you wish to discuss?"

"No, I believe that is all"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the one most important to the story (other then the ending of course). I just am waiting on it to get beta'd and will hopefully be able to post it this weekend.


	11. Second Prophesy, Second Chance?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cersei gets another prophecy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my longest chapter yet and I'm so nervous as to how you guys are going to react to this chapter. Hopefully, I don't lose readers! I promise Cersei and Jaime will either live happily ever after or both die still loving each other, even if it takes me another 20k words or so words to make it all believable. Thank you for all the reviews thus far!

Finally the day Cersei had been waiting anxiously for had arrived. The day her special guest was to arrive. The day she could finally, hopefully, find a way to prevent the younger more beautiful one from casting her down and prevent the valonqar from taking her life. Even more importantly, it was the day she would hopefully find a way to secure the survival of her unborn child.

Cersei had feared the women would not be found. Shortly before she had married Robert Cersei had heard rumors that she had fled the woods to a faraway village. However several months ago Qyburn had sent some trusted birds to Lannisport. It had taken some time, but eventually, they had pieced together where she had fled to. With that knowledge, Cersei had word sent for the women to be brought to kings landing.

Upon being notified of the arrival by her maid Cersei immediately headed to the room where the woman was being held.

"Do you remember me?" Asked Cersei

The women looked at Cersei for several seconds.

"Your prophecy has come to pass, hasn't it?" she asked.

"I will take that as you do remember then. But, no, no it hasn't, at least not all of it. I need you to help me. Find a way, any way to prevent the valonqar from taking my life and help to ensure that the child I now carry shall be safe."

"Very well. You know how this works."

Cersei nodded. "Of course." She replied as she cut into her hand. She watched as the women grabbed it and began to suck the blood.

"Yes. Just as I thought. Golden crowns, golden shrouds, valonqar, the casting down. It has nearly all come to pass." stated Maggy.

"Yes. I need your help to prevent the last two from happening. I need to know what I must do to ensure my child's survival."

"Aye. You may have three questions."

Cersei was now eight and a half months pregnant and knew she could go into labor at any time. She desperately needed to know what steps she should take to ensure her child's wellbeing. She decided she was not going to allow this witch to limit her questions this time. She needed as much information as possible to save this child and she was determined to get it.

"No. As many as I need this time."' Replied Cersei sternly.

"Very well then. You must make multiple wounds, then, however. The more blood, the longer I can hear the gods."

Cersei nodded and made several more cuts on her hands and arms. She waited patiently as the women sucked all of the blood.

Finally, at last, the witch had enough blood and began to speak.

"Very well. Ask what you will."

"How do I prevent myself from being cast down and losing all I hold dear? How do I prevent the valonqar from chocking the life from me? And most importantly how do I save my child?" Rushed out Cersei all in one breath.

"What has happened and not happened cannot be prevented."

"What? I don't understand."

"You will be cast down. All you hold dear will be taken."

"You are here to tell me how to prevent that."

"You cannot. You will lose all. "

"So my child is doomed and the valonqar shall kill me. There is truly nothing I can do." stated, not questioned Cerse her voice breaking.

"The valonqar did choke the life from thee."

"You mean will. Tell me how to prevent it. There must be some way" Replied Cersei in frustration.

"You cannot prevent that which has already come to pass*

"What? Valonqar cannot have happened obviously as I am still here." Replied Cersei, impatient with the witch's lack of understanding.

"That's the thing about prophecies. The interpretation can be tricky. The valonqar did indeed choke the life from you."

"What? How? I'm pretty sure I am not dead."

"I do not know how."

"What do you mean you do not know?"

"I'm simply a messenger. I repeat what the gods tell me."

"Fair enough. Then you shall ask them how it has come to pass."

Maggy stared at her for a long moment before speaking again.

"You cannot know. "

"I must know. Tell me."

"They would not tell me. ."

Cersei had a strange feeling that the witch was not telling the whole truth. It mattered not though. She was doomed. With the knowledge before her and the hopelessness, she began to sob.

The witches voice, however, cut through her sobs.

"You have two paths before you. The path to vengeance. Where all your enemies shall suffer. Or the path of mercy. You must choose." Stated the witch, ignoring Cersei's turmoil.

"I chose vengeance. Now, tell me what will happen to me, witch!" Replied Cersei in between her tears.

"Total annihilation of all you hold dear. Your crown, your children, your legacy, your beauty. The child in your womb shall die. The others will grow up with no mother to love them. Your crown will fall at your feet as you burn and wither in pain." The witch then started laughing maniacally.

Cersei felt her hopelessness and sorrow turn to rage. It took every ounce of her self-restraint to stop herself from smacking the witch across her ugly old wrinkled face. She reminded herself that this witch was her only hope. She must at least try to find some way to prevent her fate.

"Very well then. I will ask you what I should have asked you all those years ago. How do I save my child?"

"You must take a different path."'

"A different path?"

"The path of mercy and forgiveness."

Cersei scoffed at that. She wasn't going to forgive anyone or anything that had harmed her. She certainly wasn't going to show mercy to anybody.

"It won't come easy. And you must forgive several wrongs done to thee. You yourself will do things that you will need to be forgiven for too. You must have remorse." continued the witch.

"And how exactly do I chose such a path?"

"You must not act in anger when your vengeance most calls to you. And you must save one whom you will hate."

"And if I chose that path my child lives?" she asked hopeful.

"Perhaps, though great danger surrounds the one in your womb. The false father will intend it harm. "

"Euron? I will have him killed then."

"Aye, you can do that. Then his men shall turn on you and your child shall die, while you suffer an unimaginably horrible death."

"If I take this path of mercy, will my child live a long and happy life?" Asked Cersei.

"There shall be long and happy lives for most of them. For one, it is unclear."

"Why do you speak as if I will have multiple children. I am not pregnant with twins or triplets!" While most women would not be so sure of this, Cersei was. She had hoped for twins, but Qyburn had been adamant and apologetic that he only detected one heartbeat.

"You will have and not have twins."

"What? That makes no sense!."

" Prophesies rarely make sense until they happen. "

"So, is there anything you can tell me about these children I am supposed to have?"

"You would not believe me if I told you."

"Tell me anyway. Whatever it is." Replied Cersei in frustration.

"One born in your darkest time, one not of your blood, and two whom aren't what they appear to be. Not all from your loins."

"Well, that's simply not possible. I'm not gonna play mother to some orphans or whatever foul thing you're suggesting," replied Cersei dismissively as she rolled her eyes.

" Now tell me how to save my child. This child." demanded Cersei placing a hand on her belly.

"I cannot."

"What do you mean you cannot?!"

"There is much unpredictability and uncertainty surrounding both your own fate and their own. Once the child is born, I may be able to tell you more."

"Very well. I suppose you will be summoned to the birthing chamber, then when my time comes."

"May I rest now?"

"No. I am not done yet." Replied Cersei before asking her next question.

"Will Jaime return to me?"

"You to him, he to you."

Another thing that didn't make sense. She didn't even know why she'd asked it anyway. She told herself she shouldn't care whether he did or not. She swore to herself his treason would not go unpunished if she could help it.

"Will I keep my throne?" She had to ask. She'd waited her whole life to be the one on the iron throne.

"You will lose all you hold dear."

"What can I do to keep my throne?"

"No matter what you do your reign will be short and end in death. There is one path. One path only to your survival. It is when the one you hate most will offer you a chance to flee. You must take it then."

"I shall take some gold and flee to the free cities at once then," Cersei stated, not questioned this time.

"You shall not. Any fleeing before the time is right will result in death."

Cersei was taken aback by this. "Whos death? Mine? My child's? Both?"

"The death of the entire northern population. Shall you flee, the dead shall rise and conquer all of Westeros."

Upon hearing that statement, Cersei smiled brightly. Maybe fleeing wouldn't be so horrible after all. The dead couldn't swim and on another continent, she could live a good happy life with her child. Then her smile faltered. Jaime. Jaime was in the north. Then she inwardly scolded herself yet again. He'd tried to kill her and nearly caused a miscarriage. She should hate him. She did hate him. But she loved him still too. She loved her child more though. If she had to, she would choose her child's life and safety over Jaime's. So she had to ask.

"The dead shall never swim, right? So, if I flee now my child and I will be safe on another continent.?"

"Aye, you will be safe. Safe and rich and utterly lonely and miserable."

"I could never be miserable if I have my child with me."

The witches eyes got a strange, dark, look in them. It was scarier than anything Cersei had ever seen before in her life.

"You must flee when forced to and not before. And you must not attack when your vengeance most calls to you. Elsewise your child shall grow to be as bitter as you and once grown they shall conquer the seven kingdoms and bring about the end of all humanity."

"That seems hard to believe," Cersei replied, her voice quivering.

"It is what the gods have foreseen. You shall have a very difficult child. A child with the potential to be worse than another whom you once had, but far more dangerous as they will have an intellect like that of your hated brother. It is only their siblings whom will save them from themselves. One sibling in particular..."

"Wait, I thought you said before that my child would die if I took 'the path of vengeance as you so called it.?" Asked Cersei, suspicious that the witch was lying to her.

The witch gave Cersei a strange look. She opened her mouth to speak but stopped herself. Cersei stared at her impatiently. After several moments the witch spoke again.

" There are many paths that result in death or non-existence for your children and you. Some paths that result in the end of all mankind at the hands of your child. One path only where you and your children shall live and be happy."

"So if I wait until the time is right, my child will live a happy life and not die, or bring about the end of humanity?"

"They all will. Except possibly the one whos path is not yet clear"

" Do you mean the child I carry now? How can I ensure their safety? I care only for this child, not any future children that I don't believe it's possible for me to even have."

"I am sorry, the gods refuse to tell me more on this."

Cersei put a protective hand on her stomach. She hoped it wasn't this child's life that would be in danger.

"How will I know when the time is right to flee?"

"You will know."

"How?"

"Chains, blood, pain. misery, death, life. All shall surround you. You will lose all hope and nearly die in loneliness when your worst enemy shall save you."

"Who would that be? I have many enemies. I am not so sure which of them I hate the most."

"You will know when you see them."

More riddles. Cersei figured it mattered not anyway.

"You claim if I shall take this path I shall somehow find happiness again? When? How? And with whom?"

"Years will pass. Things will look hopeless for you and your child. When one day your knight shall save you."

"My knight? Who would that be?"

"The one it always has been."

"The one whom tried to kill me and is off north helping our enemies?"

"Aye."

"What if I don't want anything to do with him after his betrayal?"

"You will have a difficult time, but ultimately you will forgive each other."

Cersei wasn't so sure of that but decided to press on with her questions regardless.

"What do I need to be forgiven for? He's the one who betrayed and tried to kill me!."

"It's not what you have done. It's what you will do."

"But, you said before that if I took the path of vengeance there was no hope for me."

"You will act in vengeance, it is your nature. You just must not act too hatefully, or too vengefully."

"So there's a line, then. I suppose I shall regularly consult with you then, to make sure I do not cross it."

"It does not quite work that way."

"Why not?"

"I doubt the gods would be happy with such an arrangement."

"The gods never cared about me. Screw them."

"They very likely will not cooperate with such an arrangement."

Cersei decided this was going in circles and for now, she would drop it.

"Can you really not tell me exactly what I must do to guarantee my child's safety, witch?"

"I cannot. Not until the birth."

"Yet you could tell Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen's fates all before their conceptions even?" Cersei asked, trying her best to curb her rising temper.

"I could yes. But it doesn't always work that way. "

"Why not?!"

"I do not know. May I rest yet? I will need more blood if you wish to proceed"

"Fine, for now, you may rest. But if I find out you're lying to me...If I find out you are lying about anything, I won't hesitate to have your head. Same if any harm befalls the child in my womb. Some servants will be down in a short while to bring you food and drink."

At that Cersei returned to her chambers and poured herself a larger glass of wine than usual. She began to mull over in her head the things the witch had said and how they could possibly be true. 'One born in your darkest time.' That she figured was simple and obviously must be the child she was carrying now. 'Two children whom aren't what they appear to be.' That one especially made no sense to her. She couldn't begin to even try to figure out what the witch had meant with that one. However, the part she found most unbelievable was the 'One not of your blood', as well as what the witch had said that not all children would be from her loins. How could that be? She certainly didn't see herself as taking in some orphan children or any other such nonsense. That part alone was so ridiculous to her that she wondered whether the witch must be lying this time.

However, the previous prophecy had all come true. 'Except, of course, no one has choked the life from me." Jaime had tried, but he had failed. What had the witch meant by saying it had already come to pass? She was so confused. It couldn't have because she was still alive. Maybe the witch was a crazy woman all along and everything that had come true in the previous prophecy had been an astonishing coincidence? But then she remembered the witch had earlier spoken the words "The child's false father". No way the witch or anyone else could know Euron was not actually the father, So she obviously knew things she should have no way of knowing. Plus, everything else in the previous prophesy being, right? It couldn't all be a coincidence.

The more she thought about it the more, this new prophecy gave her hope for her child's and her future. Even for a future with Jaime, though she honestly could not ever see herself forgiving him for what he had nearly cost her. Forcing her hateful thoughts of Jaime out of her mind, she put her hand on her belly. She smiled as she felt her baby give a kick, grateful that her baby was safe in spite of her near miscarriage. Maybe, just maybe there really was hope for happiness in her future, even without the throne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I know the prophecy seems OOC, but bare with me, there's still probably another 20k or more words to go in this and I'll probably even have to have a sequel after that to make it all believable. I would love to hear your guys opinions (please don't be too negative tho!). Would love to hear speculation on the children, etc. So please review I need them now more than ever!


	12. Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime talks with Theon on the way to his new living quarters and spends some time alone reminiscing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's been so long since I've updated! For a time was busy with my other stories and then I wasn't feeling well for a while. Enjoy this new chapter, I will try to not go so long again without updating and I hope people are still interested in this story!

"Lady Brienne needs to get back to fighting. She will be shown your new quarters later this evening after supper. This evening or tomorrow morning she will give you your battle commands. Lord Theon is in charge of living arrangements and will show you to your quarters," spoke Jon.

Upon hearing the name Theon, Jaime sighed inwardly knowing that he would be questioned about what had happened to Yara. He knew that when Euron had kidnapped Ellaria Sand and her daughters that Theon and Yara had been on the boat as well. Theon had jumped overboard to avoid capture, leaving the fate of Yara and the other allies in the hands of Euron and his men.

"This way," stated Theon.

The two walked in awkward silence for several minutes before finally, as Jaime expected Theon questioned him. "My...my sister, Yara, how was she when you left?" 

"All I know is that she was brought to the castle with Ellaria Sand and her daughters and later taken to a cell. I did not find this out until many days later. I myself did not see her," replied Jaime, truthfully. 

Cersei had not told him about the Greyjoy girl, Jaime had found that out all from hearsay. Apparently, Yara Greyjoy had been marched into the red keep alongside the sand snakes courtesy of Euron Greyjoy. At the time Cersei had neglected to mention it to him. He had not found out until days after he had found out about the capture of the sand snakes and that had been from Bronn.

Jaime didn't feel it was right to let Yara be tortured, after all, she had done nothing personally against them. Her only crime had been aligning with the dragon queen. However, every time he tried to voice his concerns over it, he stopped himself. It was Euron, not him who had finally helped to bring Myrcella's killers to justice. Cersei would just yet again throw that back in his face and he felt bad enough about it already. Besides that, at the time he had bigger concerns to worry about, such as Cersei's betrayal with Lancel, her plan to betray the north and of course her pregnancy.

Theon was looking at him as if he were trying to discern his truthfulness. Finally, he replied, "But...surely, you must have heard something more after that."

"The last I heard Euron was keeping her captive in the red keep. Indefinitely."

"Is she alive you think?"

"I am sorry. Honestly, I don't know. But, I heard nothing of her passing." 

Theon looked down sadly, "It should have been me. I fled like a coward."

Jaime couldn't imagine ever leaving Cersei in such dire circumstances. Nor Tyrion either for that matter. He opened his mouth to say something cruel, then stopped himself. If the rumors he'd heard about Theon were true than Theon was already a broken man. Besides that, nothing Theon could have done would have saved Yara anyway, he'd likely have ended up right beside her in a cell or even dead. 

After a few more moments of silence, finally, they made it to the small room where Jaime would be staying with Brienne. 

"Here we are. It's small, but many the rooms here are. Most of our men stay in the barracks, sharing living quarters. However, as a commander, Lady Brienne was given the option of a small room. As many didn't feel comfortable with you among them, this arrangement was made," explained Theon as he opened the door.

Jaime looked around. It would definitely take some getting used to. The room had everything they would need, including a small table, two chairs, two small beds, a chamber pot and a small fireplace.

"Since you are sharing this room with Lady Brienne, I took care to install curtains on both beds. There are also separate men and women latrines on this floor if you or lady Brienne need."

"I see. And for food?"

"There is dinner served in the great hall, though if it pleases you-you may cook up something yourself. You may pick out dried fruits, vegetables and small servings of fresh meat, mostly boar and chicken, at the beginning of the week."

"Do I look like I know how to cook?" asked Jame raising an eyebrow.

"No...no... of course not."

"I'm sorry, actually, I am not feeling up to going to the dining room tonight, so would it be possible to get some of those fruits and vegetables now?" asked Jaime, realizing that for tonight at least, he would rather be alone or only in the company of Brienne.

"I'm afraid not, but I am sure there is probably food left from the others who stayed here."

"What happened to the people who were staying in this room?" asked Jaime curiously.

"They both died a few days ago in battle."

"I see," replied Jaime uneasily. 'Will that be me one day, or perhaps Brienne?' he wondered. "Will lady Brienne be joining me in our quarters for supper?"

"The lady Brienne normally takes her supper in the great hall. I suppose if you would like I could show her the way here before supper."

"That would be good. Thank you."

"Then if that is all I will take my leave."

As soon as Theon left, Jaime sat down in one of the chairs. His stomach growled. The meager lunch he'd been fed had left him still hungry. He would have to see what food there was here. He wasn't sure what time it was, but he'd been released just shortly after lunch. It was too soon to cook dinner. He luckily found some carrots and some slightly stale bread, along with some other food in the only cabinet. He grabbed the remainder of the bread along with a couple of carrots and began to eat. 

After he had finished eating, there was nothing to do and he could not help but let his thoughts wander to Cersei. It had been over eight months since he had seen her. Her child, or rather their child, would be long born by now. He wondered if it was a boy or a girl and whether their hair would have Myrcella's curls or be straight as Joffrey's and Tommen's had been. He wondered if he would ever get to hold that child in his arms. He'd wanted to with Myrcella and Tommen, and even Joffrey when he had been born, but Cersei rarely allowed it. At the time he had not cared much, it wasn't until years later when Myrcella had died in his arms that he began to truly regret that he barely knew his children. 

A part of him wished he hadn't left, but then after what he'd done, it wasn't as if there was any choice. If he could do things over he would still have gone. Only he would have thought things out more, he would have taken the Lannister army, as well as the Baratheon and Tarly armies with him. He was sure they would have followed him. Cersei likely would have found out that betrayal at some point, however, if they followed his command and not hers it was not as if she could do anything, short of killing them all. Would she have forgiven him at some point? Maybe. Certainly, she would be more likely to have forgiven that than his near murder of her. 

Over the next several hours Jaime thought of Cersi and all the times they had together, both good and bad. He thought of the first time they switched places, way back when they had been just four. It had started off as a joke, for weeks after their lessons had first started Cersei had been bugging him to switch places. She'd thought it would be hilarious if they could fool their septa. Finally, Jaime relented, father could barely tell them apart anyway, so if they wanted to trick the septa they surely could.

At the time there had still been a few years before they would have different lessons. Cersei would eventually learn sewing, etiquette, dancing and other womanly pursuits. Jaime, in turn, would learn how to rule, and fight, (along with additional history and extra needed reading lessons, as even then he had been a slow learner.) For this shared lesson they were simply learning more of the alphabet and numbers. Neither twin learned much that day, as they both had quite a bit of difficulty keeping a straight face during the lesson, especially when the poor septa would refer to one of them by the others name.

He thought of their very first argument, they had been just six and Cersei had just had her first sewing lesson and absolutely hated it. He, on the other hand, had loved his sword fighting lesson, even if the sword hadn't actually been real. She'd asked him to switch next time and he'd refused. They then argued back and forth for a while until eventually, he gave in and did go in her stead. The two would then alternate, as they both hated those sewing lessons. Neither was any good at sewing. The sword fighting lessons, however, both were decent at, though Jaime had to admit until he'd been sent off to squire she had been the better of them.

He thought of their first kiss, their first real kiss, the first that hadn't been innocent, though it certainly appeared so. They had been just thirteen and he had been away, squiring for two months. When he returned home, Cersei had greeted him with a kiss as usual. It was innocent, in appearance anyway, but after he had found himself wishing he could kiss her properly. Later that night, it was he who snuck into her room and it was then they did kiss, really kiss and it was definitely not innocent.

He thought back to how she convinced him to join the Kings Guard, way back when they were fifteen, He marveled that he'd even needed any convincing, she'd had his heart even then and he could barely remember what his protests had been. That night she'd given herself to him and looking back he couldn't remember a time he had ever been happier. 

Then his thoughts turned to more depressing ones. He thought about what had for a long time been the worst day of his life, the day Cersei had married Robert. How happy she had looked that day. He had spent the whole ceremony wishing he was the groom. He wondered if Robert hadn't uttered Lyanna's name that night, would she have fallen as in love with him. She certainly loved being Queen, that was for sure. Would he have lost her much sooner, and would she have been better off for it he wondered? Just as quickly, that thought vanished. Robert had been a womanizer and if he wouldn't have uttered Lyanna's name that night the marriage would have soured anyway.

Next, he thought of their dead children. First, he thought of their ill-mannered first born Joffrey. He didn't feel bad or sorrowful about his death, only saddened for Cersei. He briefly wondered if Joffrey had been raised by him and Cersei in some quiet cottage somewhere, would he have turned out differently? Just how much of his temperment had been nature, and how much nurture?

Next, he thought of young Tommen, he blamed himself and Cersei for the boys death. Why exactly had he killed himself? Did he blame himself for what Cersei had done to the sept? Or perhaps it was the loss of Margaery, it had been an arranged marriage, but had Tommen loved her regardless? He himself had been even younger then Tommen when he first realized he was in love with Cersei, so he supposed it was possible. If he'd been back sooner and forced Cersei to run before her trial, would Tommen still be alive? Those thoughts haunted him. 

Finally, he thought back to the death that had been the hardest on him. The day Myrcella died in his arms after he had finally told her the truth. She had been so accepting and for a brief moment, he had found himself grateful she had been sent to Dorne, thinking that clearly, their liberal views on love had rubbed off on her some. Of course a moment later that had all gone to crap, but for that one brief moment, he had thought he finally could be a father to one of his children. He had also thought finally, Cersei would forgive him for letting Tyrion free and not only that but see him as her shining knight once more. 

After a considerable length of time, both reminiscing and feeling sorry for himself, Jaime decided he'd best try to make some supper if he did not want Brienne to drag him to the dining hall. There were some potatoes and salted boar meat that would have to do for supper he supposed and he set about preparing everything to cook over the fire. As he did so, his thoughts traveled back to the last time he had cooked over a fire. He'd been with Bronn then, on the ill-fated trip to rescue Myrcella. He wondered where Bronn was now. Cersei had never been fond of Bronn due to his association with Tyrion, and he hoped that she had not found and killed him. Shaking off those thoughts, he got to work on making dinner, hoping it would be somewhat edible.

Just as Jaime was finishing up his cooking, the door opened and in walked Lady Brienne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, none of those memories conflict with canon any. Next chapter is Dinner with Brienne. They have a lot of catching up to do and you'll get to find the whereabouts of certain characters. Also, I'd still love to know if you guys have any theories regarding the four children. :)


	13. Dinner With Brienne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime and Brienne have dinner together and Brienne catches Jaime up on what's been going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly just conversation to let you know the whereabouts of other chars. Ends on a little bit of a cliffhanger tho.

"Sir Jaime," Brienne greeted him. 

"Lady Brienne. It's been a long time."

Brienne nodded at him and an awkward pause followed before Jaime continued, "I made us some boar meat and potatoes for supper, if you'd like to have a seat."

"Thank you, Sir Jaime."

With that, the two sat down to a dinner of overcooked boar meat and undercooked potatoes. To her credit, Brienne did not complain. In between eating they talked.

"Thank you for defending me in there. Have you been well, Lady Brienne?" 

"All well as can be expected given the current situation. How was your journey?"

"Relatively uneventful. I wasn't expecting to be met so hostilely here though."

"I apologize for that. I tried to talk to Daenerys and Jon, but they think my friendship with you has clouded my judgment regarding you. Daenerys was insistent that you be brought to trial for the things you have done. Jon was willing to overlook certain things, but he is angry about the lack of Lannister troops. He questions your honor and agreed a trial was necessary. I am relieved you are here now."

"Here, with you. I expected to be rooming in the barracks or some such thing."

"No, Daenery's decided this was best."

"Where were you rooming, before?"

"I had a small private room, one quite like this. "

"I'm sorry that you had to give that up."

"Actually, I suggested this arrangement to Daenerys after she expressed concern over having you around the soldiers in the barracks. She wanted someone she trusted to keep a close eye on you as well. Both Sir Jorah Mormont and I offered. Daenerys thought on it some and chose me. I'm not sure why. I believe she is just relieved to have Sir Jorah back in her service. He was cured of Greyscale at the citadel."

"Really, what did she think I would do with no weapon surrounded by her men, strangle them with one hand?" he asked rhetorically, leaving out the fact that he had done just that to his sister. 

"I do not know, just that she really doesn't trust you. In time I am sure that she will see you can be trusted."

"I see. Well, how on earth was Jorah cured of greyscale? Was it a full recovery?" he asked, remembering Stannis Baratheon's young daughter, Shireen and the scar that remained on her face.

"Samwell Tarly cured him at the citadel, with some salve. He made a complete recovery, no lasting marks."

"Samwell Tarly, isn't he another of Randell Tarly's sons?"

"Yes, I believe so."

"I am surprised Daenerys would not send him to trial then. Was she not furious when Randyl and Dickon refused to bend the knee?"

"They refused to even meet with her, unfortunately. A shame because those troops would have been quite useful in the war against the dead."

"You'll have to forgive me if I'm not so quick to sing her praises. She does want me dead. That you can surely admit."

"In time she will see that there is honor in you."

"I must admit to being rather confused on her acceptance of Samwell, given his father's refusal to bend the knee."

Well, Sam was a member of the night's watch. He is good friends with Jon Snow. He has never gotten along well with his father either."

"Well, that explains it then. How did Jon Snow end up marrying the dragon queen anyway? Tyrion told me when he visited me in the cells."

"I wanted to visit, but they would only allow Tyrion. They met when she called him to dragon stone to pledge allegiance. He refused of course. Somewhere along the way, things changed and they fell in love."

"I see. Well, I suppose we should talk of more important matters. How is the war against the undead going?" asked Jaime, concerned.

"Not so good. For every white walker or wight that we kill it seems another takes it place."

"Have there been many casualties?"

"Countless. We just don't have enough soldiers. Almost everyone, male and female, age thirteen and up is having to help fight in some way. Females and males both. Any child over the age of ten is helping around camp with the chores and meal preparations. We have needed everyone we can get."

"Why isn't Theon Greyjoy helping? He escorted me here. I was told he was in charge of rooming or something?" asked Jaime.

"Theon is helping, he does all the living arrangements, He decides who will room in the barracks, and who gets the privilege of rooming privately or with who they will room with in a small room. He also is in charge of food distribution," defended Brienne.

"But, doesn't he have experience commanding armies?"

Brienne looked at Jaime sadly before replying, "He cannot handle it. He's a mess due to everything that's happened to him, and then, of course, there was Yara's kidnapping. He cannot function out there on the battlefield. We had him out there and he just, he froze. Nearly got himself killed."

"The rumors, are they true then?" asked Jaime curiously.

"I would not know. But, yes, I believe they are. Be kind to him, like you he deeply regrets his past actions."

"The people here, how do they treat him?" How these people treated Theon might help give him some information on how they would treat him, he hoped.

"Not too well at first. Most have accepted him now. Jon Snow still isn't too fond of him though. He only hasn't killed him because of what he did for Sansa."

Jaime had heard word about the girls' marriage to Ramsay Bolten. He felt horrible about it. In a lot of ways, Sansa reminded him of how Cersei had once been. Maybe that was why he'd felt so bad for failing to protect her. He couldn't save Cersei from her marriage to Robert, and Cersei hadn't wanted to be saved anyway, but Sansa seemed like she wanted saving. He could have run with her, got her safely to....to where? Her Aunt Lysa he'd found out had tragically passed away, and of course, her elder brother and mother were dead. At least she was safe now. Too bad her sister was likely dead.

"I am happy to see Sansa is safe. I take it Arya never made it to safety?" questioned Jaime.

"Arya Stark did not make it back here, I assure you that she is alive though," stated Brienne.

"What leads you to believe she is alive?"

"I saw her in my travels. With Sandor Clegane."

"What?! When?"

"Years ago, shortly after I left kings landing."

"That was a very long time ago. I strongly doubt she is still alive now. Still, I'm amazed she survived that long."

"I am positive she is alive and out there somewhere."

"Why is she not with Sandor then? How did she come to travel with him, anyway?"

"He said they parted ways after my run in with them. As for how. they met up sometime shortly after she escaped kings landing. When I happened upon them, I tried to fulfill my oath to Catelyn Stark. To return her girls to her. Or rather to her family, since she died. However, Arya made it quite clear she would not be going anywhere with me. Sandor and I fought and I wounded him, but I could not find Arya after. I was trying to fulfill my promise to Catelyn Stark and I failed. I failed, Jaime."

"No, I failed. I'm sorry. Whatever ill fate has befallen her since then is my fault. I should have done more. Instead, I put it all on you."

"I do not think any harm has come to her. I do not understand why she is not here though. Surely she had to have heard the news that the Starks have reclaimed Winterfell. I would have thought her to return there many moons ago but she never did."

"Why do you think she is alive and unharmed still?"

"The hound believes it to be so. He says she's very dangerous. That the only one who needs protecting is other people from her. Jaime, I hesitate to tell you this, after all that your sister has done. But you should know, Arya has a list. A list of people she will kill. Cersei is on it."

At that, Jaime laughed before voicing his lack of concern. "A list some little girl scrawled in her diary is of no threat to anyone, least of all my sister." 

"I think it is though. Sandor says she is a great fighter. He told me several on the list have met ill fates due to her."

"You're surely jesting me," replied Jaime.

"I would never do such a thing."

"Really? Arya Stark a dangerous killer? Are we seriously to believe such a thing? Maybe he was lying to protect the girl. He could have been trying to make people scared of her in hopes they would not bother her. He probably wanted her safe so he could find her again for the bounty."

"Perhaps, but that is not the impression I got from him. He seemed to care for her wellbeing. I believe he was telling the truth about her being dangerous too. According to Sansa, Arya was quite the tomboy and had exhibited an urge to learn how to fight at a very young age. More importantly, Bran has seen things."

"Things, what things?"

"I do not know. He said we could not know. But he agrees with Sandor that she can take care of herself."

"I'm sorry. this is just so hard to believe. I mean...she's just a girl."

"So am I."

"Well, yes, but you're...." 

"I am what? Ugly? Manly?" cut in Brienne.

"No....well....yes.... I mean....that's not what I was going to say! I was going to say grown. You're a woman grown. Arya Stark is a child."

"She's a woman now, actually. A long time has passed since she was the child you remember from years ago."

"Not that long!"

"She is two and a half years younger than Sansa. Sansa is twenty, nearly twenty-one. Therefore, Arya would be a woman of eighteen now. Young, but likely long flowered. She would have been eleven going on twelve when she fled kings landing." 

"Tommen was eleven and a small boy himself at that time. Arya was even smaller than him. I thought her to be seven or so." Of course, a raven had announced the girls birth to King Robert many years ago, but Jaime could scarcely remember just how many years ago that had been.

"She was always small for her age according to Sansa," stated Brienne before continuing, " I just thought you may want to warn your sister. No one deserves to be killed without a fair trial and I know how much she means to you." 

"Cersei has a lot to worry about, but I don't think Arya Stark is one of those things. Even if she is dangerous as you believe, Cersei has so many guards that no one will get through to her. Qyburn and I were the only ones whom she allowed near without Sir Gregor lurking nearby. She doesn't even let Euron close to her without him being nearby, or at least she wasn't doing so when I left." 'At least not to my knowledge.' he added quietly to himself.

"I see," replied Brienne before continuing, "What is Sir Gregor anyway?"

"He's Cersei's personal guard."

"You know that is not what I am asking."

"Well, what do you think he is?"

"I've heard things. That he died and then was somehow alive."

Jaime sighed and resigned himself to telling her the truth. "He did. Qyburn brought him back. He's very loyal now. Almost as if he is under some sort of magic."

"That's terrible! Though I suppose if anyone deserves such a fate it would be him."

"Could we talk of Arya some more? Who exactly do you believe she killed, and how do you believe she could kill anybody?" asked Jaime.

"I do not know. The hound spent quite an amount of time with her. He would know more. He even mentioned that he thinks she might somehow be responsible for Walder Frey and his sons' deaths. Now that I do find difficult to believe."

"The Freys. We wondered who did that. Cersei was so frustrated and a bit shaken by not being able to find out. But how would Arya Stark have accomplished that? There was no trace of poison, in spite of...of what was found in the meat pies there."

"I know what was found in them," replied Brienne

"Yes, well this food is hard enough to keep down. I didn't want to make it any harder for either of us," joked Jaime trying to lighten the mood.

Brienne, however, didn't quite get the joke "It's definitely not one of the best meals I've had, even here, but I do greatly appreciate your trying. Perhaps next time we could dine together in the great hall?"

"Around everyone? All of whom hate me?"

"You're going to be fighting alongside these people regardless. Unless you'd like a job in childcare. They are quite short staffed there...."

"I'll take the fighting. Not sure what use I'll be though. I'm better as a commander, since this," he replied holding up his stump, "As a fighter, not so much."

Brienne nodded sadly at him, "I can help spar with you in our free time if you would like. Would you like oathkeeper back?" she asked.

"No. As I've told you before it's yours. It will always be yours. You are far more worthy of it then I could ever be." 

"If you are sure then. I cannot thank you enough. It is the most wonderful gift I have ever been given, by far."

An awkward pause followed before Jaime thought of his next question, "You mentioned Bran seeing things, and it was mentioned during my trial as well I believe. Is he some kind of seer now, or something?"

"Or something. He can worg."

"So he worged into the future and saw me do something heroic, correct? I take it that is why the dragon queen spared me?" asked Jaime hopefully.

"He didn't say it in those exact words, but he did say the war against the dead could likely not be won without you, so yes, Sir Jaime, I believe so."

"Oh, there is something else I should tell you. Sir Jaime, I must warn, this will shock you," stated Brienne.

"What?"

"Jon is actually heir to the Iron Throne."

"Jon Snow? Ned Starks bastard?"

"Yes. He is Rhagaer Targaryen and Lyanna Starks' son."

"Lyanna Stark had a son?!" 

"Yes, Ned promised her he would raise him."

"How do you know this? Bran's visions?"

"Yes."

"Shocking news but this doesn't make Jon heir to the throne. He is still a bastard after all, just not a Stark bastard."

"He is legitimate, actually. Samwell found an annulment of Rhaegar and Ella's marriage and a certificate of Rhagar's marriage to Lyanna in the citadel."

"So Robert's Rebellion was based on a lie?"

"I suppose so. She was just a young girl though, barely flowered," stated Brienne before continuing, "But she went willingly with Rhaegar. Bran saw it."

"So, if my sister is removed from power it is to be him, not Daenery's who would rule over the seven kingdoms?"

"No. He has no interest in the iron throne or ruling. He is content to let Daenerys do it all."

"Well, they will have to produce a heir won't they?"

"I suppose so."

"Then it looks like the seven kingdoms are not to escape having an incestial ruler. I suppose Jon will be both father and cousin to the child. If only Ned Stark were alive to see this!" stated Jaime letting out a chuckle.

"Do not be so crass. He did not know he was Targaryen when he married her!" stated Brienne as she stood up. Jaime had not seen her this angry since the bathtub in Harrenhal so long ago.

"I apologize," Jaime stated trying his best to sound sincere.

"Well, is there anything else I should know about?" Jaime asked after a few moments of silence.

"Littlefinger is dead. He was assassinated on the road just a few short weeks ago. Nobody knows who did it." 

"That man had so many enemies, that I suppose it could be anybody," replied Jaime unshocked. 

No sooner had he finished his sentence when suddenly there was a knock on the door. They looked at each other, startled. 

"Are you expecting someone?" asked Jaime.

"No, I am not. I will see who it is though," she replied having already gotten up to open the door.

Brienne opened the door to find a young girl, maybe twelve or so standing there holding what appeared to be a letter. 

"Hello?" 

"Hello, Lady Brienne, Queen Daenerys forgot to give this to the ki....Sir Jaime earlier," stated the girl, quickly correcting her slip up before continuing, " I'm told it was delivered here weeks before he arrived," she explained.

"Thank you," replied Brienne as the girl handed her the letter.

Brienne bid a polite goodbye to the girl before closing the door. Having overheard the conversation Jaime had already come over. Brienne handed him the letter which he noted was already unwrapped. 'Of course,' he figured. The dragon queen had no trust in him, likely never would. She or whomever she had entrusted to read it had not even bothered to retie it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any opions on the dinner? Who do you think the letter is from? What do you think it says? Please review!


	14. The Future Isn't Set In Stone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime gets some news from the south that upsets him. Jaime later talks to Bran. The future seems as if it could be hopeful or bleak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll mention this here since they didn't mention it past the beginning of season 1. I'm going with show canon for this which means Cersei had her first child, a black-haired son with Robert that died of a fever as an infant.

Jaime looked at the letter, wondering for a brief second who would be sending a raven to him and why. Then he noticed the Greyjoy sigil, and the blood drained from his face as he felt his panic rise. Had something happened to Cersei or the baby? Quickly, he unrolled the letter and began to read aloud,

"Jaime, good brother, we hope this letter reaches you safely. Hopefully, you are still in one piece this time. It would be most unfortunate if you yet again lost another body part while away from Kings Landing. Your sister and I married several moons ago. However, of course, she could not keep her hands off of me before the wedding. You know that child she was pregnant with, that you might have thought to be yours? He was born with a lovely head of curly brown hair and bright blue eyes. Congratulations on being an uncle for the first time ever without also being a father! It sure must feel strange for you! We eagerly await your return to Kings Landing so that you may meet little Triton. Of course, after that, we will, unfortunately, have to put you to death for your treason. If the war against the dead lasts long enough, Triton may even be of an age where we let him do the honors. Until then, stay safe and best wishes." 

The letter was signed Euron Greyjoy and stamped with the Greyjoy sigil. However, below the Greyjoy sigil was Cersei's signature and the Lannister sigil, meaning she had given her approval for this letter to be sent. Jaime could tell her handwriting anywhere and he knew that was her hand. He was beyond hurt, and even more so, was enraged. He was about to punch the wall, when Brienne grabbed his hand, stopping him. 

"Damaging the walls won't help things any."

Jaime tried to calm himself, as angry as he was, he knew she was right. If word got around that he had damaged property, Daenerys might use it as an excuse to imprison him further, or worse. He couldn't run that risk, after all, he'd likely only not been put to death because of whatever Bran had seen in his visions.

Brienne tried her best to offer him comforting words. Jaime was in no mood for any of it though. Before receiving that letter it had already been a horrible day, and after reading the letter it would definitely rank high in being one of the worst days of his life. He bid her a good night and collapsed on his bed in despair. 

Surprisingly sleep came quickly, the exhaustion from the past few days having taken its toll. He dreamt two dreams. 

In the first dream, he visited six of the seven kingdoms. Each one was in complete ruins, with not a soul around. The dream shifted, and then he saw a destroyed throne room. Inside two figures, one male and one female stood. The female of them spoke, smirking "Now everyone has paid for what they have done to us." The male replied equally as gleeful, "Finally! I have waited twenty years for this." "Twenty-one, actually," corrected the female.

The other dream was just sad, but not in the same way. In this dream, he could see one, large freshly dug grave from a distance, and four figures standing in front of it. He heard a female voice say, "At least they passed together, peacefully in their sleep." A male voice agreed, "And at least they got to spend twenty years together here, with no one ever finding out who they were," "Twenty-one, actually," corrected another female voice.

When he awoke it was hard to get either dream out of his head. Both of them felt very real and as if he was catching a glimpse of things that could come to pass. He probably would have pondered on them all day had it not been for the fact it was his first day at the wall and he desperately needed to make a good impression. 

During the next few days, Jaime was so busy with the battle against the dead and getting used to his new surroundings that he did not have much time to think and dwell on things. However, whenever there was a free moment he would find himself thinking of Cersei, Euron, and their child. Before receiving the letter, he had felt remorseful regarding his betrayal with Cybele, now though, he felt justified. He couldn't understand how Cersei could have done this to him. He didn't want to believe it. He wracked his brain for a way for it to not be true, but he could not think of any brown-haired Lannister. The Lannister looks were widely known for being emerald eyed and even more importantly, golden-haired. The blue eyes, however, didn't concern him any. He still remembered the argument he'd had with Cersei shortly after Joffrey's birth.

"You told me he was mine. You told me you were sure this time."

"He is yours. I am sure," she had replied. smiling up at him as she held the sleeping infant in her arms. She had just given birth a few short hours ago.

At the time he had still been upset about the little black-haired boy she had given birth to two years prior. The heir to the throne was supposed to be his and Cersei's, not that drunken womanizing oaf of a man. Though he felt sad for Cersei he also couldn't help but feel a bit relieved when the fever took that child before their first birthday. When she had gotten pregnant again he worried it would be another black haired child. Cersei assured him throughout the pregnancy that she would never bare Robert another child and that it was in no way possible for this child to belong to Robert. 

"I saw his eyes. He is Roberts!" he stated trying to control himself.

"Are you really that stupid?"

At that Jaime got a dark, furious look in his eyes, "Apparently I must be to believe you were finally giving up on making that idiotic stag love you."

Seeing his anger, Cersei rushed to explain, "All babies are born with blue eyes. His eyes will change to emerald before he is one."'

Jaime had checked with a maester later, just to be sure, and was told that was the truth. Apparently, he should have paid more attention to his septa's life lessons. Joffrey's eyes did indeed slowly change over the next year, from ice blue to blue-green to the bright emerald green the Lannisters were all known for. 

So with that memory in mind, he knew the blue eyes were nothing to worry about. 'Stupid Euron didn't pay attention to his lessons either,' he thought smirking before he remembered the hair color. While some Lannister's such as pathetic Lancel did have more of an ash blonde, brown hair was another story. For as far as Jaime knew there had never been a brown-haired Lannister. Everyone far and wide knew of the Lannister's golden locks. They were so well known for their golden locks, that if a play were ever to one day be made about them, he was quite certain the showrunners would ensure that throughout it every Lannister was a blonde. For to do otherwise would be foolish. 

The next week was among one of the most difficult of his life. Jaime had thought he'd hit rock bottom when he'd lost his sword hand all those years ago. Then later again when Cersei had rejected him when he returned and he'd thought he'd lost her forever. Then again when Myrcella died in his arms. Then yet again when Tommen died and Cersei had been so cold to him for weeks. This, though, this was different. He felt broken, completely shattered. He could never trust Cersei again. She had clearly lied to him, she must have fucked Euron the day he arrived in King's Landing, or shortly thereafter. 

Of course, there was also the matter of what else the letter had said. Treason? Put to death? He knew she must be angry with him after what he had done, but he had hoped after having a time for her anger to simmer down that she at least would not want him dead. Surely she should have realized he was only reacting out of anger.

Of course, his heartbreak over Cersei was not the only thing causing him to spiral into a deep depression. He felt useless, and he was sure everyone else thought that of him too. Even the broken Greyjoy boy was contributing more to the camp's wellbeing than him. 

On the field, his unit took orders from Brienne. She always left him with those who couldn't fight as well as the others. He was to command those in the back with him. 'The ones as useless as me,' he thought to himself. However, he knew they only obeyed him under Brienne's orders.

The only thing that made him feel slightly better was that Bran had foreseen that the war couldn't be won without him. That. however, he could not see how. When he'd questioned Brienne about Bran's visions, she had told him that from what little she knew, the future was not set in stone. While Bran could foresee things likely to happen, there were no absolutes. So Jaime was not sure he could even count on that matter.

Upon thinking about Bran more, Jaime knew he had to talk to the boy. He owed him a formal apology, after all. At least that's why he told himself he was going to visit with him. Brienne was able to tell him where in this place he might get a few minutes alone to talk to the boy. She herself had, of course, learned Jaime was the cause of Bran's fall some time ago. She had suspected long before that. 

Finally, after carefully researching what he would say, he headed off to talk to Bran. He found him right where Brienne said he would be. Luckily, Bran was reading a book and not in the middle of a worg when Jaime arrived.

"Sir Jaime," Bran greeted him.

Jaime took a deep breath and got right to the point,

"Bran, as you know it was me who pushed you off that tower. I want to apologize. You saw me and Cersei and I panicked. If you would have told our heads all would have been on spikes."

"I accept your apology," he gave a long look to Jaime before continuing, "That isn't really why you're here though, is it?" 

"What makes you say that?" asked Jaime trying his best to sound innocent.

"That look in your eyes. I've seen it countless times before. You seek knowledge. Knowledge of the future."

"You are correct there, but while I do wish to know certain things, I am genuinely sorry for what happened to you. What I caused to happen." It was true. He didn't regret doing it though, for he felt he had no other option. He did, however, regret that Bran had to suffer the consequence. Life was difficult enough with only one hand, he could only imagine how difficult Bran's life was with his legs not working. It was good that the boy could worg, so he wasn't always trapped in a broken body. 

"I am going to tell you what I tell everyone else who asks me. You can't know your future. I won't say or tell you anything that could alter your course."

Brienne had told him Bran wouldn't give anyone information regarding theirs or anyone else's future. Perhaps, however, he would answer questions regarding Cersei's past and current actions. He figured there was no harm in at least asking, anyway.

"Have you had any visions of my sister?"

"I have, but once again, I cannot tell you the future."

"I understand that and I know I have no right to ask it of you, but could you tell me anything regarding what happened to her since I left King's Landing?"

"Other then what led to my fall, I have only had one vision of her. I cannot disclose the context of that vision to you as it has not yet come to pass..."

Jaime shifted uncomfortably. "I..."

"I know you would not change your actions that day even if you could. Regardless of that, I forgive you. I wouldn't change being able to worg for anything. Not even if it would give me my legs back. I will tell you something. I tell this to everyone and I've never found it to be untrue. You have paths to both happiness and despair. The decisions you make are what will lead you to one or the other."

"I will keep that in mind. I'm sorry to have wasted your time with my foolish questions. I should get back to my quarters now."  
Truthfully, he wasn't sorry, but after what he had done he couldn't help but feel a bit guilty that his obsession with Cersei ran deep enough to bother the boy whose condition he had caused.

"Are you suppering there?"

"Yes, with Lady Brienne."

"Lady Brienne used to take supper with us."

"Us?"

"Myself, Meera, Sansa, Podrik, Gendry, and even Theon. Tell Lady Brienne her presence is missed. You are both welcome to join us anytime."

"Thank you. I will tell her that," stated Jaime, both shocked and relieved that after what he had done Bran would be so forgiving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of the letter? And the child? And Jaime's meeting with Bran? Not an eventful chapter I know. Next chapter the story will progress more. It will rip your hearts out tho and they won't be mended until much later, if ever. :P


	15. Desperation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime is slowly getting used to life in the north, he is however depressed and reckless. A battle takes a life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a hard chapter to write and you guys are gonna hate me for it as well lol.

Every evening Jaime took his supper with Brienne in their shared chambers. She would always ask if tomorrow they could supper in the great hall. Each time he declined, for he did not want to dine around people whom he felt hated him. After his talk with Bran though he decided to give it a try. Afterall, Bran had been accepting of his presence here in the north, so maybe the others would be as well. So the next night at dinner when she brought it up again, he finally agreed. 

The next day when evening came, Jaime followed Brienne to the great hall.

"I normally sit with..." began Brienne.

"Yes, I know. Bran told me. You sit with him, Sansa, Podrik, and Theon."

"And Meera and Gendry," she added as she led the way to their table.

"Hello," said Jaime awkwardly once they reached their destination.

Sansa looked up at them, "Hello, lady Brienne, Sir Jaime. Please, have a seat." 

Brienne took a seat next to Podrik and Jaime sat down next to her.

"Thank you, Jaime," spoke Sansa. Upon seeing Jaime's perplexed look she continued, "for sending Lady Brienne to look after me all those years ago." 

"You're welcome. I am sorry I myself didn't do more. Sorry about Arya as well."

"What matters is you tried. Nobody could protect me. I protect myself now. Arya is out there, somewhere. I hope to one day see her again. We all do."

He hadn't felt that he had tried hard enough because he had done little else but pass the task off to Brienne. However, he was grateful Sansa didn't seem to hate him after all his house had put her through,

"I hope you see her again one day," Jaime replied in spite of his doubts that she would. An awkward silence followed. Jaime could tell that in spite of the invite to sit down everyone still felt a bit uneasy around him. 

"The weather, it's not as cold as I would have expected for winter," stated Jaime trying to break the awkward silence. It was snowing outside and quite cold, but Jaime had always heard stories that the long winter was brutally cold. So far winter seemed milder then he had expected.

"We all wondered about that as well. I asked Samwell Tarly about it months ago," replied Meera.

"What did he say?" asked Jaime.

"Samwell said that the long winter isn't at it's worst yet. In one to two years time we can expect the cold to get far worse, and since summer was so long, winter will last just as long if not longer," stated Meera.

The rest of the meal everyone discussed the long winter before retiring for the night. They all hoped, yet feared that they wouldn't make it to see another spring.

Over the next few weeks, Jaime and Brienne suppered every evening with Bran, Meera, Sansa, Theon, and Podrik. Eventually, the conversations were much less awkward. Over time, Jaime got to know them all. He still wasn't quite sure if any of them would consider him a friend, but their company was a short, albeit welcome break from the war against the dead. He learned a bit about each of them as well, and they about him. He supposed they were friends now. It was odd to him. Except for Bronn and Brienne he hadn't really had any friends since his boyhood years.

Sansa he learned hated the food here more than anyone and would just about die to taste a lemon cake once again.  
He also quickly learned she was no longer the naive idealistic girl she once had been. However, although she was versed in self-defense, she was still not a fighter. She stayed around camp knitting warm clothes to go under armor, and teaching others how to do so. Jaime recalled that an argument had once broken out between her and the little Mormont girl.....what was her name again? Lyanna. Lyanna made some offhand comment about how she wasn't going to sit around and knit while the men fight for her. Sansa had taken some offense to that. "I would like to see how you fare in your fighting without warm socks and mittens to protect you from the bitter cold. Do not forget one's flesh can wither and die if not kept warm." she had replied back.

Bran he quickly found out was prone to need much time to himself, whether because of his worging or not, Jaime could not tell, but he did not eat with the group every day. He learned from the others that Bran didn't even consider himself to be Bran Stark anymore. His worging was such a huge part of who he was now that it seemed he identified more as a wolf, then anything really. When he wasn't busy worging, he was reading. He was a far cry from the adventurous young boy who used to climb towers.

Bran's friend Meera of house Reed, he learned was a quiet girl who seemed rather protective of Bran and a bit of a tomboy. He had fought beside her in battle before as she was placed in Brienne's unit with him. She seemed to have a bit of a crush on Bran and seemed to be the only one outside of Bran's family whose company he seemed to seek out. He was surprised she was so young, she seemed to be one of Brienne's better fighters.

Theon he learned to his shock, was actually not very fond of seafood, nor sausages, though Jaime could take a guess as to why on that last one. Theon it seemed cared little for his Greyjoy family, the only one he ever mentioned in a fond matter was Yara. He missed her and felt immense guilt that he had escaped a similar fate. He and Jaime shared in their disdain for Euron, and they both wanted to be the one to kill him. 

As for Brienne's squire Podrik, he learned he had become quite the ladies man, but settled down in these past few moons. He strongly suspected Podrik had a crush on Sansa, which Brienne confirmed later. Sansa, however, did not seem to return his affections. In fact, Jaime would have suspected something romantic between Sansa and Theon, were it not for the fact that he was pretty certain Theon had no manhood. Those two certainly seemed quite close, and they always sat beside each other. Jon Snow he was sure would have something to say about that if he knew. However, luckily for Theon, and Jaime as well, Jon Snow usually took his supper in his private quarters with Daenerys. 

On a couple of occasions, he also noticed a strange red-headed fellow with a beard that seemed to always be staring at Brienne.  
When he mentioned it to Brienne she seemed annoyed, "The red-headed fellow with the beard? That's Tormund, one of the wildling leaders. He is just fascinated by my grotesque size, nothing more." Jaime agreed. Brienne wasn't exactly a woman any man would find beautiful. Her eyes were about the only thing attractive on her. He hoped the man would not bother her. He'd broken one too many noses before in his younger years on account of people giving Tyrion odd looks. He didn't wanna have to do the same for Brienne, but if it came to it he would.

Brienne and Jaime's friendship was growing closer as well. Though they could have taken their breakfasts in the great hall, they always had those privately in their quarters. They really got to know each other. They talked about their interests, their thoughts on the future and their families. Jaime could barely contain his envy when she talked of her father. Her father had actually loved her and wanted what was best for her. No lord farther that he'd ever heard of before would have let their daughter train as a knight. Nor let their only heir decline all marriage prospects. A fate Jaime had only escaped by joining the Kingsguard and Tyrion by being a dwarf and not particularly wanted as a heir. Selwyn Tarth was a good man and a good father. Everything Tywin Lannister had not been. Jaime wondered why couldn't he, Cersei and Tyrion have had that? 

Jaime was still, however, quite depressed. Jaime's talk with Bran and having Brienne, and feeling like at least a few people here didn't completely hate him helped give him a reason not to give up. Unfortunately though even though he wasn't as depressed as he had been, he still was quite melancholy. He constantly thought of Cersei, Euron, and the child he was sure was Euron's. At times his thoughts also traveled to how she had stubbornly refused to send help to the north, and even her affair with Lancel. Every night he would have nightmares of Cersei, of her with other men, typically Euron, sometimes Lancel, however, none ever felt so real as the nightmare he had dreamt on his first night in his shared quarters. Some nights he was luckier and would dream sweet dreams of being married to Cersei, and Euron and the crown being a long forgotten memory of theirs. None of those felt so real either as the sweet dream he had dreamt on his first night in his chambers.

As a result of his depression, he was reckless in battle. A part of him didn't care if he lived or died. After what Bran had said, he didn't kill himself, as there was still hope the future would be better, though how that would happen he could not see. Still, though some part of him wanted to die. Especially to die as a hero in battle. Then maybe everybody would remember him as having done some good and not as "Kingslayer" or "sister fucker" or "man without honor". He wondered who would cry over his death. Would Tyrion? He'd not seen much of his brother since his trial which at this point had now been three fortnights ago. They'd seen each other only a few times since but had avoided discussing any serious topics. Perhaps Tyrion wouldn't care at all if he were to die. He certainly didn't seem to care that Cersei would die if Daenerys got her way. What of Cersei, would she cry when and if he were to die if the news ever reached her? Part of him wondered bitterly if she would regret her betrayals if he were to die. It was depressing to think she might not care if he were to die. That nobody might care. Then he remembered Brienne. He was sure she would care if he died. She would probably blame herself were it to happen in battle. Unfortunately, though, that wasn't quite enough for him to want to live. 

He felt such regret that he hadn't kidnapped Cersei the moment he had come back from Riverrun. He should have taken her far away from Kings Landing. Far away from the crown, the power, the corruption. He should have prevented her from ever laying eyes on Euron Greyjoy and that cursed dragon horn of his. Perhaps then they could have been happy. Perhaps then countless of lives would have been spared as well. 

The war, Jaime had learned could have more then likely have been won by now if they'd had three dragons instead of one. While Drogon was the strongest of the three, he was not immune to getting hurt. He'd been minorly injured several times, leaving him out of the fight for days each time. Often times, Daenerys would be riding him and get injured herself, never too severely though.

Dragon fire, however, could not kill a wight or white walkers. What it did do was disable them for long enough that soldiers could then easily deal the killing blow with their dragonglass weapons. If they had three dragons, or even two, rather then one, perhaps they would have been making more headway in the battle. As it stood now, it seemed they were losing nearly a soldier for every white walker they took out. 

Of course, with Jaime not really caring if he lived or died something was bound to go wrong eventually. Five fortnights after his talk with Bran there was a battle. Their biggest battle yet, which sadly injured many, including Greyworm and Daenerys, as well as took many lives, including that of Jorah Mormont. As for Jaime, he made a risky and bold move in battle. He took out several white walkers doing so, however, that recklessness almost cost him his life. A white walker's sword missed his heart by mere inches, slicing him in his side. He lost consciousness from the shock, hitting his head. It was only due to Podrik and Meera that he was not finished off right then and there. 

When Jaime regained consciousness he was on a bed. Brienne was sitting on a stool beside him.

"Brienne?"

"Sir Jaime, you're awake. You've been out for the past few hours."

"What, happened?" he asked, his memory foggy.

"You made a risky move and nearly got yourself killed, that's what happened!"

The memory came back to him. "My head is killing me," he complained.

"You hit your head after being stabbed, it's why you passed out." She paused before continuing, her voice rising, "You could have died! You need to be more careful. You're too reckless! It will get you killed one day!"

"I'm sorry, Brienne, but really, it would be better if I died."

"Don't say that!"

"It's true. Who would miss me even? If I died in battle while taking some white walkers out perhaps I might at least be somewhat redeemed in peoples eyes."

"I would miss you. Jaime. And .....I love you, I know you don't feel the same way. but you almost died and I would regret it if you died and I never got to tell you," stated Brienne to him.

He didn't know what to say back. He could tell she was distraught and hurt about him not returning her love. He'd suspected that she was in love with him, but now knowing for certain he felt terrible. Brienne was a good woman, albeit ugly. She was kind, and honorable. In fact, she was probably the most honorable person he had ever known. She didn't deserve this heartache and he hated himself for causing it. He didn't want to lie to her though, either. So he did the only thing he could think of to do that would make her feel better. 

Jaime got up out of the bed. Brienne protested, "What are you....," and he shut her up with a kiss.

"Jaime, why?" she asked when he finally pulled away. 

"I'm not sure. I just wanted to, I guess."

She seemed slightly disappointed in that answer, but it was all he could give. After some initial awkwardness, she filled him in on what had happened during and after the battle, including Sir Jorah's tragic passing. 

During the next few days, Jaime remained in the medical unit waiting for his chance to be seen by a maester and deemed safe to return to normal activities. As a result of the battle, the maesters were all busier then normal attending to injuries. His wound was mostly a flesh wound but while he was unconscious a maester had given it some stitches. The wound would more than likely leave a very ugly scar. 

During those days Jaime had a lot of time to think and evaluate things. Cersei was still forefront in his mind. He wondered what he would do when he saw her again. His thoughts alternated between reasonable and unreasonable things. Sometimes he just wanted to see for himself that she was, in fact, safe. Sometimes he wished he could just simply talk, really talk with her. He was curious about what excuses she would feed him. Surely she couldn't deny having slept with Euron now. The brown-haired child was indefinite proof of her infidelity. 

His far less, rational thoughts were things like wishing he had finished the job he had started to do that fateful day he had fled. At times he would also fantasize about heading back to the red keep and kidnapping her. He would force her to be his forever and in the process force her as far away from the throne and Euron as possible. Sometimes he would entertain ideas about having power and control enough that it would be up to him to imprison her. Then he could force her to beg for his mercy. That last one he really liked the sound of. The thought of Cersei regretting her trysts with Euron and begging for his mercy almost made him smile.

Thoughts of her would not stop consuming him. Many times he wished he could will himself to forget her. It hurt to even think of her. If he could only make himself stop loving her, he would. It was then he remembered what Bronn had once said to him many moons ago. Bronn had told him the best way to get over someone was to find someone else. He hadn't wanted to hear it at the time, some complaint Bron had about some dark-haired girl who was like no other, whom he was trying to get out of his mind. He wondered who it was and if Bronn's advice had ever worked for him. Either way, he reasoned it was worth a try. He hoped, maybe in time, that he could come to love Brienne.

It was three days after Jaime's injury before he was able to finally be examined again. He was deemed by a maester as safe to return to normal duties. In that time Jaime had also tried to discern how he felt for Brienne. After her confession he had decided that it was imperative he do so. He thought of the kiss they shared. There had been no passion in it, not on his end anyway. He had no urge to hold her tight in his arms or tear her clothes off like he always had when he kissed Cersei. However, Brienne was very dear to him and her friendship meant a lot to him. She meant just as much to him as Tyrion had, or maybe still did. His conclusion was that he did love her, albeit not in the way a man was supposed to love a woman who was in love with him. That he reasoned was why when he later that night told Brienne he loved her too, it wasn't a complete lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so nervous and curious to see what you guys have to say about this chapter! Hopefully, it was not too OOC.  
> Added in the Jaime/Brienne tag to warn you all. I would've just done that in the notes, but since they tag Cersei/Jaime in tons of fics where they aren't endgame, I figured why not do the reverse and tag Jaime/Brienne when they aren't endgame? If they would be more considerate then so would I.


	16. Bad News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime's been in the north for six months now. Brienne gets some bad news from home. Jaime and Brienne consider marriage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another chapter that may make you all sad! There will probably be a Cersei chapter 2-3 more chapters after this one. I'm trying to get to a certain point with things with Jaime before I switch. :)

Over a year had now passed since Jaime had last laid eyes on Cersei. He had been in the north for over half a year and in a relationship with Brienne for nearly half of that. He wasn't happy, nor was he even really content, but he was at least no longer so depressed that he wished to die. He was, he supposed, resigned to things.

It seemed everybody had become more solemn since that fateful battle three moons ago that had taken Ser Jorah's life and that of many others. The general consensus seemed to be that they were losing this war.

Of course, Daenerys had tens of thousands of soldiers from across the sea aiding in the battle and all of Jon Snow's men, as well as some of Cersei's and Euron's soldiers whom had fled north. However, it turned out that still had simply not been enough. If only Cersei and Euron had agreed to send their soldiers north to fight then they would have had over a third more soldiers, which would have helped tremendously.

Shortly after that tragic battle, Jon and Daenerys had ravens sent to every major house far and wide. Those whom were in charge of great houses were to spread the word that everyone aged one and six and up must head north to fight in the war. Aged one and three through one and five were expected to take over the heading over their households and care for any younger ones. Those who had no one of that age would be expected to find a household that could foster them. The weather was cold of course, but not yet quite so cold that travel would yet be unsafe. Houses with the means were expected to help the poor with obtaining adequate clothing for the journey. They also had let it be known that all whom refused to offer their aid would have their lands confiscated and be forced into exile. Only those whom were elderly or ill were exempt from these rules.

Hense new arrivals had started to arrive just this past week, and many more were expected to arrive in the coming weeks. All everyone could do was hope that with more joining in the fight that they would somehow defeat the night king and his army.

As for Daenerys and Jon, they both still kept their distance from Jaime. Jaime and Tyrion, however, had begun to talk more when time permitted it. They shared their memories and hopes for the future. Of course, they avoided the subject of Cersei as it was not something either would ever agree on. Neither thought it likely that they would ever see her again anyway. Even with more recruits, they could kill the undead all they wanted, but killing the Night King and preventing more white walkers and wights from existing, that was another matter entirely and one nobody seemed sure of how to do. Jaime could also tell that his brother was scared of what would happen if Drogon ever were to be mortally injured, for that they were sure would ensure the Night King's victory.

Jaime had come to slowly realize that he no longer wanted his brother dead for killing their father. However, Jaime still couldn't grant him his forgiveness. Not that Jaime had mourned their father all that much, but he didn't believe the events leading up to Tommen's suicide would have played out the same way if Tywin had been alive. His father certainly would have prevented the High Sparrow from having any sort of power, of that Jaime was certain.

As for his relationship with Brienne, they had settled into a comfortable routine. Breakfast together in their chambers every morning, fighting the white walkers together during the day, and supper every evening with their friends. Occasionally they would kiss, but never anything further. He knew she wouldn't give up her maidenhood until marriage, and honestly, he wasn't all that interested anyway. He'd hoped after time that some passion would grow between them. When it didn't he just reasoned that it would take more time, and if it didn't come, surely they would still be okay. After all, everyone knew Greyworm and Missandrei were a couple and what passion could they possibly have when he was an unsullied and therefore missing his manhood?

One evening nearly four moons after they had first kissed, Brienne and Jaime were suppering with their friends, It was an uneventful meal, until towards the end of the meal Brienne was informed she had a raven from home. Upon finishing their meals, she took the letter back to their chambers, while Jaime headed off to use the latrine.

When Jaime returned shortly later, Brienne was in tears.

He sat next to her on the bed and put an arm around her to comfort her, "What is the matter?"

"It's my father. He is ill."

"I am sorry to hear that. How ill is he?"

"His maester isn't sure. There is a growth in his back that has been getting bigger and bigger for over a year now. It has been making it difficult for him to walk and move about. They hoped it could be cured, but that is not the case. He recently has become bedridden as it now hurts too much for him to move about. Against his wishes, the maester decided to inform me. Father worried I would travel home if I had known," she replied sadly.

"Are you going to?"

"The temperatures while cold, have not yet reached critical levels, so I could, potentially. However, as one of Jon Snow's top commanders, I am needed here. It is something I will have to think further on. If only I had known sooner, I would have come home rather than here."

"He wouldn't have wanted that," stated Jaime

Brienne nodded, "He would have hated that I wasn't helping with the fight against the white walkers, but still, I wish I'd been there for him. I wish that I could be there now."

"I'm sorry you can't be with him. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Just your company is enough."

"Of course. Will you feel alright enough to battle tomorrow? Perhaps we could both take the day off and do something together?"

"No, we are needed too much. As a commander, I have responsibilities, as do you as a soldier. We're losing so many people here that there isn't any time to wallow. Though I do appreciate the offer. "

"Alright then. If you need to talk or anything, just let me know. "

"Thank you, I will keep that in mind. We should get some sleep. Tomorrow though perhaps we could take supper in our chambers."

"Sounds good. Sleep well, Brienne," he offered her a chaste kiss goodnight as they retired to their beds.

It was not until three days later that Brienne brought up the subject again, "I have made my decision," she announced to Jaime as they were eating their breakfast.

Unsure of what to say, Jaime waited for her to continue.

"I have decided to stay," she stated, looking somewhat regretful.

"Is that what you really want?" he asked concerned.

"No. I love my father. Kids were very cruel to me when I was growing up. My father was always my closest friend. But, the trip would take several moons and my father could be dead by then. Not to mention the risk there is of the weather worsening. I also know that he would not want for me to abandon my duties here."

"I see. Well, for what it is worth I am glad you are staying."

"I will send a raven to inform of my decision. However, there is something else I wish to discuss with you."

Brienne continued on, looking very nervous Jaime noted, "With my father in ill health, I need to think about securing the future of Tarth. I need to take a husband. My father loves me, but he loves Tarth too. If he were to die without knowing I have secured a husband and will one day produce a heir I would never forgive myself."

Jaime shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Was she hinting that he should ask for her hand?

"I am not implying or expecting for you to ask for my hand in marriage. But, whatever this is between us has to stop. I cannot be dishonest with whomever I do marry. I shall send a raven back to my father telling him I will take my place as his heir and marry. Perhaps he will have suggestions on who would be a good match."

"So you will abandon your duties to marry but not return home?" Jaime questioned. As soon as the words were out of his mouth he regretted them.

"Of course not! If I can I find a man to marry here then I shall do so and continue on with my duties. I do not think I will have much trouble finding a husband either. I may not be beautiful but the marriage would be a great step up for any man of a smaller house. Due to necessity most of the men here are now accepting of their wives and daughters taking to battle as well. so there shall be no need for me to replace my sword with an apron. That's been the only good thing to come out of this war."

Jaime knew he should ask for her hand. After all, she was in love with him and in his own way he loved her too. He wasn't in love with her, but he still reasoned that maybe if he tried that would come later.

However, he could not bring himself to ask her to marry him, for in the back of his mind was always Cersei. To marry Brienne would be giving up on Cersei for good. Not that he would want Cersei back anyway, at least not as they had been. Still, another part of him wished he could forget Cersei. Loving her hurt too much. If he could perhaps get over her, maybe he could come to love Brienne. He was too unsure though, and Brienne he reasoned deserved someone who at least could possibly give her his heart one day. He reasoned there was at least a slight chance that could happen in spite of her looks once they got to know all of her good qualities.

"How will you find a husband?" he questioned, unsure of what else to say.

"I will see if my father has any suggestions and go from there. With the new arrivals coming there will be even more selection, though I'd much prefer someone that cared enough about the future of Westeros to not need to be threatened into helping. Regardless, I can't risk my father dying without knowing Tarth's future is secured. I would never forgive myself."

"Please don't approach anyone just yet."

"I wasn't planning to until I hear back from my father, but why are you asking this of me?," questioned Brienne.

"I don't know. I...I guess I just need some time to think about things with us."

"I am sending a raven first thing tomorrow to inform him of my decision. Shall I ask him if he would consider you a worthy match?" she asked hopefully.

"No, I am sorry, Brienne, I need some more time. I don't want to have any doubts if I ask for your hand."

"Time is something I don't have to spare, Jaime," she replied, before continuing, "I will send a raven out tomorrow and inform my father of my wish to marry. I will ask him to advise me on a match. If I reject said match he will understand. He always has. Shall you come to a decision in my favour then I shall send another raven informing him of our wish to marry."

Three fortnights later Brienne received word back from her father with a short list of suggested matches. By then Jaime had finally resolved himself to tell her that he was sorry for having wasted her time, but he could not marry her. He knew it wasn't fair to waste any more of her time, and it would not be right to marry her when he wasn't in love with her. He decided however that since her nameday was only two days away he would wait until after then to tell her. He wanted to give her a happy nameday, since he reasoned whomever she did marry would likely not care about such things. He'd already talked to Sansa and Podrik and put together a small surprise party for the eve of her name day. However, the day before Brienne's name day events would end up playing out that would make him think he actually should propose marriage to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think will happen in the next chapter to make Jaime reconsider marrying Brienne? I hope I'm writing the war against the white walkers okay. I'm horrible with action stuff.


	17. Seashell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime's thoughts always lead him back to Cersei somehow. This time he reminisces about a seashell Cersei and he found as children. (The shell Cersei was holding at the end of 3x10_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a bit later on updates this time I think. I had thyroid surgery in late June. I'm good now, half a thyroid, but at least my tumor wasn't cancerous (before they told me there was a high chance it was).
> 
> After careful consideration, I've decided to remove the Jaime/Brienne and Jaime/OC tags. With this site now having added the ability to exclude tags I worry a lot of cerseixjaime shippers might miss this fic. This story gets way fewer reviews and views already on here then it does on fanfiction.net 
> 
> Anyway, sorry but this chapter isn't exactly the chapter I promised, this chapter is mostly a flashback, a sweet one from Cersei and Jaime's childhood. Think of it as kinda an intermission in the story or whatever though stuff obviously does happen in present time in the beginning and end of the chapter. The next chapter is actually where things will happen to make Jaime think maybe he should marry Brienne and it shouldn't be too long to come out (almost done with it, just needs some minor edits). I'm already working some on the chapter after that as well!

On the eve of Brienne's name day, she and Jaime were having supper as usual with Sansa, Podrik, Theon, Bran, and Meera. They were engaged in casual conversation about which of the seven kingdoms had the best food. The conversation was suddenly cut short when Jon and Daenerys made an entrance, followed shortly by an announcement from Jon.

"All commanders and new arrivals are to report to the strategy room immediately after supper."

"More recruits to be assigned tonight?" asked Jaime rhetorically.

"Most likely," replied Brienne.

A short time later everyone at their table had finished their meals and bid their farewells until only Jaime and Brienne were left.

"Well I suppose I'll see you in the morning, or should I wait up for you?" Jaime asked Brienne as they got up.

"These meetings usually do not take too long, but there is no need for you to wait up. I just will see you in the morning if you've gone to sleep by the time I return."

With that, the two kissed and parted ways. Jaime was eager to get back to his chambers and get to sleep. He had woken up a little early to make preparations for Brienne's mini name day celebration tomorrow and was eager to get back to their chambers and rest. The halls were, of course, crowded as usual as everyone who had taken supper at that time in the great hall was now returning to their chambers, as well as some who preferred a later supper heading in.

As he walked, he thought of his last name day, nearly seven moons ago. He had been on the road at the time, his journey nearly at its end, and at the time had not even realized what day it was. At this thought, his thoughts then turned to Cersei as they, of course, shared a name day. He wondered if she too had forgotten the day. That he reasoned was unlikely as she had several servants and others who would have reminded her. He wondered if perhaps she had a celebration. He decided if she had it was likely a small one as he knew she had begun to be more careful with resources out of caution. His thoughts then traveled to Cersei's wedding to Euron as he wondered how much of a celebration there had been for that. At that thought, he got angry and forced himself to think happier thoughts. He forced himself to think of Brienne. Her name day was tomorrow. Of course, everyone was too busy with fighting the war or helping to provide provisions, to really celebrate properly. He had still reminded Podrik, Sansa, and the others through early that morning, so at least she would have people wishing her a happy name day tomorrow, and Theon had promised to try and grab some extras of her favorite foods if he could.

He even had a gift for her. He just would have to hope she wouldn't ask questions about it. Hopefully, she would just assume he traded some coin here to somebody for it. His gift was one of only two remaining pieces of jewelry left that he had stolen from Cersei's chambers when he made his escape so long ago. A sapphire necklace, gifted to Cersei by some lord of whose name he couldn't remember, many years ago. Cersei had never worn it. Jaime could still remember her anger that someone had gotten her favorite gemstone wrong. "Emeralds and rubies are what I always wear, and sometimes diamonds. Everyone knows that by now. You would think these lords could remember something as simple as what kind of jewelry the queen of the seven kingdoms prefers!"

He hoped Brienne would appreciate it more. He hoped the sapphires would make her think of home. He wondered if Selwyn had spent much time on the shores of Tarth with young Brienne. He could barely remember it, but Tywin had spent time with him and Cersei on the shores of Casterly rock. They had been young, and it had been before Tyrion had been born. He did not recall any such times after mother had died. After mother had died, Cersei and he, and later sometimes Tyrion and he, and sometimes to Cersei's chagrin all three of them, spent much time on the shores of Casterly rock, building sand castles and collecting seashells.

As he thought back on various childhood memories he smiled as he remembered the time he had found the seashell that Cersei had still kept in her possession after all these years.

They had been only seven. For him. it had been a day free of any training or other lessons. Cersei hadn't been so lucky, and he had offered to switch places with her. To his surprise though she had refused. "Go on the beach and have fun. Make a sandcastle for me," she had told him, smiling at him.

Later that morning he had been in the process of building said sand castle when she came running up to him.

"How did you get away from your lessons?" he had asked her curiously.

"I said I needed to visit the privy. That I wasn't feeling well. From there it was easy to sneak past the guards," she beamed before continuing, "I did get stopped by a rather fat guard though. He took most of the food I had hidden in exchange for his silence. So I hope you ate a big breakfast," she finished.

They then spent the remainder of the day together on the beach, first building sand castles, and later collecting seashells. Jaime had found a really large one, he'd learned later it was called a spider conch shell. Cersei had looked on in envy as he held the shell to his ear. He'd noticed nearly right away and quickly offered the shell to her.

"I'll find another one."

"Alright," she had replied, smiling sweetly at him as he placed the shell in her hands.

Cersei kept the shell hidden in her room for the next few years. Sometimes when Jaime would sneak into her room at night they would take turns listening to the sea in it. It was nearly five years later when Jaime had to go away to squire. Cersei for once had a rare moment of sacrifice.

"You're going away, you should take the shell with you. Listen to the sea in it and think of home and me when you do," she'd told him, placing the large shell in his hands.

It was only a few months later on a visit home that he returned it to her.

"I can't keep this anymore. one of the Frey boys is squiring with me. He caught me listening to it and started mocking me."

"How dare he! I hope you taught him a lesson."

"I tried...but he is four years older and has been training for much longer then I. You should keep it. It's just a seashell and I don't want to get beaten up over it!"

"It's not just a seashell, it's our seashell! Besides, it is the largest and prettiest one either of us ever found in all our time on the shore!"

"I didn't mean it like that, Cersei. It's one of my most treasured possessions, but I only like it so much because it reminds me of you and of home. I just don't want him to find it and hide it somewhere from me or worse destroy it!"

"Well, I will keep it, then, and I hope you train well enough to pummel that Frey boy into the ground one day," Cersei proclaimed.

"I will,"

Indeed Jaime had tried to teach the boy a lesson, However, him being only one and two and the boy having been at least one and six he hadn't stood much of a chance. It was not until a year and a half later that he had finally put an end to the boys bullying by beating him to a bloody pulp. Jaime smiled fondly at the memory before he began to think of other childhood memories with Cersei. He was nearly to his chambers and still lost in his thoughts when someone grabbed him by the arm.

He quickly unsheathed his sword and spun around, ready to defend himself if need be. He gasped when he saw who it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who don't remember in the episode of 3x10 Cersei was holding a seashell and smiling fondly at it when Jaime came back. This was my headcanon about that seashell. I'm also thinking of doing a small short one shot from Cersei's pov in 3x10 about the seashell.
> 
> Who do you guys think Jaime saw at the end? I hope you guys liked this chapter even though it didn't progress the story much. I can promise that the next chapter definitely will progress the story!


	18. A Shocking Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime meets up with an old friend and finds out some shocking news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took longer then I anticipated. I wanted to be further along in the next chapter before posting this. Ideally, I'm hoping one or two more Jaime chapters after this one, and then I'll switch to Cersei pov and get her caught up to Jaime's timeline, as last we saw from her pov she was still pregnant. After that, though it still might be a while until the story is all finished, but I do now have a rough idea in my head of how everything goes, including the ending.
> 
> I did do the seashell fic from Cersei's pov. Here is the link for anyone that may have missed it:
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/15404319/chapters/35751912

He was nearly to his chambers and still lost in his thoughts when someone grabbed him by the arm.

He quickly unstealthed his sword and spun around, ready to defend himself if need be. He gasped when he saw who it was.

"Bronn?! What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you, obviously. Word got around that you were helping in the battle against the white walkers. I almost didn't believe it. Jaime fucking Lannister helping the dragon queen. I never actually thought you would listen to me or Tyrion. Told everyone you were too fond of your sisters pussy to not go back even if it would likely mean your death."

"Well, I meant, what are you doing here, in the north now? I'd thought long ago you might be here but then when I found out you had never arrived..."

"I just arrived this afternoon. Certain events kept me from coming sooner. Of course, once I heard that message about lands being confiscated if I didn't help, I figured I'd best come."

"I thought you might be dead. What happened to you?"

"Well, I'm not dead yet. Turns out I'm not that easy to kill. Let's get to your chambers. I need to talk to you. In private."

"I should get back to my chambers, but there was an announcement at dinner. New recruits are supposed to be in the strategy room meeting with the commanders," stated Jaime resuming his walk.

"Aye. So I heard. They aren't gonna notice one man missing with them having received several dozen new recruits last night. I'll just go in when the next group of recruits are summoned. I could use some rest and relaxation after all I've had to deal with lately. Especially since you'll never be getting me that castle you promised. "

"You should still go. Daenerys will breathe fire herself if she finds out somebody disobeyed her orders. You won't likely be late if you hurry. "

"I can handle the dragon queen. Besides, Tyrion wouldn't let her breathe any of that fire my way."

"If you're sure," replied Jaime doubtfully before continuing, "We can always catch up tomorrow. Tomorrow is lady Brienne's name day and I put together a small celebration for her during supper. Nothing too much, just some extra food and well wishes. You should come, I'm sure she wouldn't mind. You can catch us all up on whats been happening in the south, so long as it's nothing too gruesome. I'd like for Brienne to have a pleasant name day amidst all of this grimness."

"Afraid I can't wait that long to talk to you. I have some urgent news for you," he stated as they arrived at Jaime's chambers

"What urgent news?" asked Jaime as he opened the door and stepped in.

Ignoring the question, Bronn followed behind him, "Two beds, eh? Who you rooming with?" he asked.

"Lady Brienne."

"I see. So are you two fucking yet?"

"Excuse me?"

"Fucking. You know. Putting your man parts in her women parts and doing the old nasty."

"That's a highborn woman you're speaking of. I'd advise you not to speak that way again."

"What are you going to me if I do? Did you learn how to fight with your other hand yet?"

"Not that well still," sighed Jaime in annoyance before continuing, "but, she is very well liked and respected here and not just by me. So I'd advise you to clean that mouth of yours up. Now, what is it that you needed to tell me?"

"I'll get to that shortly. Some food would be nice first. You got any here? I missed lunch and supper didn't quite fill me. I figure it's the least you can do for me. You know since you never got me that castle."

"I'll talk to Tyrion, we will get you your castle somehow. A Lannister always...," replied Jaime

"Don't fucking say it," interrupted Bronn.

"Alright. It's true though."

"Sure it is. Well, back to the matter at hand. Some food?"

"I'll see what we have," replied Jaime, hiding his annoyance as he looked in the cupboards. "Now tell me what is happening south?"

"After I eat something. You gotta repay your debt a little bit at least."

"I swear I really will get you that castle somehow. If we survive this."

"You could give me ten castles and it wouldn't repay your latest debt to me."

"Seven hells, why the fuck would I owe you that much? One castle should more than suffice," he replied handing Bronn a small piece of bread and some blackberries.

"Slim pickings, eh? Well, I suppose this will do. And perhaps one castle would have sufficed, but now things have changed. You owe me a far greater debt now after what I did for you."

"What are you talking about?" asked Jaime confused

"There's something important that I have to tell you..." Bronn trailed off, suddenly uncomfortable.

"Well, what is it? Is Cersei..."

"I think you should sit down," interrupted Bronn.

"What is it? Seven hells, Bronn, tell me Cersei is alright!"

"I don't quite know how to tell you this..." he trailed off.

"What? Tell me. Now!" replied Jaime in anger as he shoved Bronn up against the wall.

"It's...you have two children. Twins. A boy and a girl. Their mother died in labor."

"Cersei..." started Jaime feeling sick to his stomach.

"Not Cersei," stated Bronn.

"What?"

"Cybele. It seems you got her with child before you left. Or with childs rather. "

"How?" asked Jaime releasing his grip.

"Well, I'm sure you know how. Of course, I could bring a wench in here and demonstrate if you need a refresher..."

"I thought...I thought...well she was a brothel whore. I thought they had things to take care of that. You know, moon tea and all."

"Well, perhaps she wasn't so careful. Maybe she wanted a child. Probably knew you had gone too soft to send her back to that place and thought if she was with child you might marry her."

"Perhaps," sighed Jaime before continuing, "so where are these children now?"

"I have a wet nurse looking after them."

"Good. Where though?"

"In the main hall with all the other new arrivals that are mothers and children. Of course, they are the only ones quite so young. People looked at me as if I were mad when they saw me with the wet nurse and two babies."

"In the...? You mean here... in the north. In castle black?"

"Aye. Where else would I have them?"

"Well, fuck, I don't know! Maybe with someone in the south where there isn't a war against undead going on? What in seven hells am I supposed to do with two babies? How did you even travel with them?"

"Swaddled them. One to me. One to the wet nurse. Then I got tired of that and traded in some coin for a nice covered wagon."

"Why didn't you leave them in the south with a wet nurse to look after them?"

"I'm afraid it wasn't quite safe for them there."

"Why not?" asked Jaime rubbing his head as he felt a headache coming on.

"Rumors have been flying about you in a brothel. It seems somehow word got out. Your sister might not have taken too kindly if she managed to find out about your bastard children. Remember Roberts bastards?"

"That was Joffrey's doing, not Cersei's. Either way, how exactly am I supposed to explain to people why I suddenly have two babies? Anyway, how do I even know they are mine? She was a whore..."

"Well hell if I know! I'm just a sellsword. I didn't ask for this. They have the Lannister look though if that's any comfort."

After a brief silence, Bronn spoke again, "I did see that you were able to give their mother enough money for her to set herself up all nice in a small castle."

"I stole some jewels from the red keep before I left. I needed something to spend while on the road. It turned out I had taken more than enough and so I gave some coin to Cybele as a thank you."

"Aye. Well, glad you found her blonde enough for you. Knew you'd like her look. Still, though, I thought you would have sent her back to the whorehouse once you tired of her."

"Seven hells, of course not. No one deserves that life."

"Perhaps. Well, one small matter we should address before I take you to see the children. Cybeles castle and the gold you gave her. Those are mine, if we survive, correct?" Bronn asked, but Jaime knew it was more of a statement.

"Of course."

"So, would you like to see your children now?"

"If they are indeed my children... well, I suppose I shall at least take a look."

"Follow me then."

"So, do these children have names?" asked Jaime as they walked.

"Cybele was only able to name the boy before she passed. His name is Gurion."

"And the girl?"

"I've been calling her Ty."

"Ty?"

"Yeah. I know how much you Lannisters like names with that type of sound. So I figured Ty."

"Just Ty?"

"Well, I figured you could add onto it."

"I don't even know if I'm going to keep these children. They might not even be mine..."

"Well. I'm sure not keeping them. I've done my part. Brought them all the way here to you."

"Perhaps there is a childless couple who would want them," suggested Jaime.

"Perhaps. For now though, you had best get them back to your chambers."

"I have no room for a wet nurse and two babies. Our quarters barely are room enough for Brienne and I."

"Well. For tonight you will just have to find a way."

Jaime sighed wearily, "Very well then. Brienne is not going to be very happy about this," he stated. 'Nor will Cersei be, if she ever finds out,' he thought to himself.

They walked for a few more minutes, Bronn trying to inquire about life in castle black, and giving up due to Jaime's lackluster responses. Jaime for his part was terrified. If these were, in fact, his children, would he fail them as he had Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen?

"Well here we are," announced Bronn finally, "Over this way," he said, nodding at a brunette women holding two babies.

"Jaime. this is Teressa. Teressa, Jaime."

"Hello, Ser Jaime."

"And those are your two children. The one on the lefts the boy and the one on the right the girl," stated Bronn

Jaime glanced at the two babies both swaddled in yellow blankets, not really seeing them.

"Hello. I suppose you will be coming back to my chambers with me and the babies?" Jaime greeted the wet nurse.

"Of course. The babies need to feed every three to four hours. Once they are older, I can room with the other wet nurses until they are weaned."

Jaime had to refrain himself from asking how old they were. He would have to do the math later.

Bronn interrupted his thoughts, "Well now that you two have gotten acquainted, my work here is done. I'll see you in a few days, Lannister."

"Thank you, Bronn," stated Jaime, in spite of not feeling very thankful at all right now.

With Bronn finally gone Jaime finally looked closely at the children in the wet nurse's arms. His son and his daughter. They were badly in need of a bath, however as he looked into their emerald eyes, he knew they were his. They looked so like he imagined he and Cersei had as babies. So very much like he had remembered, Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen looking at that age, with their golden blonde locks and chubby cheeks. They looked identical, save for the fact that the girl was just slightly bigger than the boy. 'Just as Cersei was bigger than I until we were nearly two when we became mirror images of each other.' He recalled his mother fondly mentioning such in his early youth. He felt it was almost as if he were looking into the past at himself and Cersei.

At that, he thought of the baby Cersei had been pregnant with when he left. Euron's child. Now he too had a child... no children, by someone else. Did Cersei feel guilt when she looked at Triton? When he looked at these children all he felt was regret.

Jaime shook those thoughts off. He had to stop thinking of her. She would never forgive him and she would never choose him over power. And now that he had two bastard children she would certainly hate him if she didn't already. Perhaps this was a sign from the gods that he should, in fact, be asking for Brienne's hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a very important chapter! I would love to know what each and every one of you still reading this think! Was anyone excepting this to happen? I threw in some hints. The name Cybele was a hint on its own lol. Did anyone catch that? The name Cybele is an Asian baby name. In Asian, the meaning of the name Cybele is: Mythological nature goddess worshiped as the Great Mother in Asia Minor. The mother of all gods and men and wild nature. Often kept company by lions. Identified with Rhea by the Greeks; with Maia and Ceres by the Romans.
> 
> What do you think I should have Jaime name Ty? I was thinking he would want to actually get away from the whole Ty thing and call her Gemma, but I used that name in another fic of mine so I dunno if I should use it here again or not. But I like the idea of her name being similar to Gurions (which means my lion cub and is only 1 letter off from Gerion...I guess GRRM was inspired by that name?
> 
> Also, I uploaded this to fanfiction.net last night and already have 1 negative review (the person said this was now way too cliche for their taste and bordering on ridiculous.) So if you disagree, now would be the time to review because I don't know if I'll be continuing if I don't get some positive reviews. Most of these chapters only have one person reviewing them, which I do appreciate and is part of the reason I'm still writing. I do get more on fanfiction.net for some reason but still not many. lt's very discouraging as I've never seen such a long fic have so little attention before. I'd like to continue this, but the chapters, especially the ones with Brienne in them are getting harder and harder to write, and with so little positive feedback it's hard to feel any motivation to write.


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